I grew up in a Catholic family.  My grandparents are Catholic and my parents are Catholic.  I was an active participant of all the youth groups well into high school.  I was confirmed in tenth grade and even chose to go a Catholic College.  Then my beliefs changed.  I was in a lot of pain that first year of college and didn’t feel like God was there for me.  I was so discouraged that I even chose to not believe in God for awhile.  I felt completely alone.

Today, my faith is completely different.  I most definitely believe in God, although not the God that I was necessarily taught to believe in and  I 110% believe in love.  Recently Laura mentioned to me that when she is scared she prays.  I loved this and at the same time realized that I don’t really know how to pray.  More so, I don’t really know what I am praying too.  The Catholic God was a figure up in the sky.   Without the belief in that figure, I never really figured out what to pray too.  Of course I have spiritual thoughts and wish people well, and send them good energy, but as far as saying “I will pray for you” I never say that because I don’t pray, well at least in the way that I was taught to pray.

So I am open and willing to start as a beginner.  I am going to give praying a chance, with my focus being on the unity that connects us all, as well as the love that I know exists.  I am going to pray when I feel scared of something and ask that God may help me feel safe.  Funny to say this, but I am scared about praying.  I think that there is a part of me who is really disappointed that during my freshman year at college when I was in so much pain that I didn’t feel like a divine energy was there for me.  I feel this pain in my heart when I talk about it.  Maybe it is connected to my feelings of not being enough, not being worthy of this sort of love.  Very sad to realize that I feel this way.

May there be peace within.

Love,

Gina

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Laura had a wonderful teleclass call today with Steve Sisgold.  Both of them had so many insightful things to share with us.  I really, really enjoyed the call.

One of the ideas that stuck out to me was having a purpose and then asking oneself if one’s health, relationships and career are all alightned with that purpose.  First, I don’t know exactly what my purpose is.  I know that I enjoy and feel strongly about the importance of giving to others, loving others nonjudgementally and feel most alive when I am experiencing life in the present moment.  I suppose that is a good place to start. : )

Then the next question, asking if my purpose expresses itself in my life??  What an incredible observation to notice that no, my purpose does not show up in my life consistency.  I find myself being negative about work, judging other people, taking from others in relationships, and avoiding the present moment by eating food.  These past and sometimes current behaviors are not aligned with my purpose. 

Although my behaviors are not always aligned with my purpose, I am definitely doing much better with this alignment since my participation in OnePinky.  The first step seems to be for me to notice the unalignment and then bring it back to focus.  Kind of like meditation.  When the mind wanders we are supposed to just bring it back.  I intend to focus on this in my life this week and see if with awareness I can get most of my behaviors to align with my purpose.  I have a gut feeling that this will work. : )

Thanks again to Laura and Steve for a wonderful teleclass.

What stood out for you Pinkies?  What did you learn?

May there be peace within.

Love,

Gina

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Thank you very much for all the feeling better wishes!  I woke up feeling better this morning yet as the day went on my energy dwindled.  I currently don’t feel so good so will look forward to tomorrow morning when my energy returns again.

I had a call with Laura today.  We talked about “The Wheel of Life” and how there are many pieces to our lives with the goal being balance of them all.  And Laura reminded me, we can have them all! : )

One of the pieces was Fun.  I never thought of fun as an important part of my life, but with reflection it most certainly is.  When she asked me what I like to do for fun I didn’t know!!  It was hard not to have self-judgements about the fact that I don’t know what I like to do for fun.  I know what I used to do for fun: hang out with friends, be spontaneous, go out dancing, take trips, go camping, go the the movies, do something outdoors, etc.  At this moment today though, I didn’t have a response for what I like to do for fun.  I realized that my life is currently focused on working and self-care.  I do find my self-care activities enjoyable, but wouldn’t necessarily consider them “fun.”  So my new intention is to create more fun in my life.

Pinkies, what do you do for fun!?! 

I am looking forward to going out and playing! : )

May there be peace within.

Love,

Gina

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