Before Photo
I have been putting off taking my before photo. Many reasons were stopping me from doing it. I didn’t want anything “documented” of my current weight. I was afraid of what I would see when looking at them. I feel more comfortable in sweatshirts versus shorts and a sports bra. My husband would have to see me exposed like that in front of the camera. All these road blocks were going through my head. But today I did it, and it wasn’t that bad. My reaction was even a pleasant surprise.
It was hard to stand in front of the camera, but more so to look at the pictures. Honestly, my first thoughts were “oh disqusting, look at that stomach, hip, back fat, etc.” Then I gently reminded myself that I am telling myself a different story and learning to accept myself, even love myself where I am. This is new for me! I have always been critical and unaccepting of the reflection I see in the mirror.
The photo of my back was the hardest to look at. I think it is because I don’t see my back on a day to day basis so was surprised to see the amount of fat I have there. (As I write this I feel very insecure about it! and am accepting this feeling of insecurity as ok and a part of my growth) So, because it was the hardest photo to look at, it is now on the desktop of my laptop. I plan on looking at this photo a lot and sending love to it. I want to be able to love myself as I am, not when I weigh a certain weight, or have no hips, etc. This is scary for me, yet I am also very excited about this.
A special thanks to my husband who allowed me to be uncomfortably comfortable. You have opened the space for me to be myself from the beginning and I truly thank you for that. It means so much to me and says a lot about you!
May there be peace within.
Love,
Gina
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Laura Fenamore, CPCC is a gifted Body Image Mastery Mentor and a celebrated speaker, lecturer and teacher to thousands of people worldwide. 
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Gina, I love that you made the back photo your desktop photo. That is so powerful! You definitely get the importance of loving yourself unconditionally. I’m so proud of you.
I love this post Gina, good on you! A word I have had problems saying out aloud is ‘fat’, I previously said it to myself regularly on the inside yet not on the outside…it somehow made made my body struggles real…