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Sparks of Inspiration

Posted on May 9, 2012 by Laura Fenamore

“We’re born, we die, and in the middle, there’s life. In the middle is that dash.”

This quote from Eric Handler’s TEDx speech, hit me right to the core. We’ve all been told to “live in the moment,” but the way Eric framed it makes it crystal clear that those moments are life. Those experiences, feelings, joys, loses string together into that dash between cradle and grave. The more we can focus on those moments, the more we “live in the dash,” the happier and fuller we’ll be.

Great news, right? All we have to do is live in the moment and fulfillment is ours. It is those simple things that are not so easy. Ours is a result-oriented society, a place where goals, aspirations, the promise of the future eclipses where we are today. Ours is a culture in which hustle and bustle are given priority over the here and now. It’s not impossible, however. And what’s better, we can actually practice living in the dash. Actively working on being present for 10 minutes a day will carry over into our daily lives and help us to appreciate the infinite opportunities that arise every day.

I connect to being in the moment through daily meditation and prayer. By dedicating time expressly to being with myself and my thoughts, I train my mind to do so instinctively even when I’m not trying to do so.

Maybe you’ve never meditated; perhaps you’re an expert practitioner. No matter where you are, here is an easy, breath-focused practice to help you live in the moment.

Find a safe and comfortable place to lie down, preferably on a mat or the floor.

Relax your shoulders, your neck, your jaw, your chest, your belly.

Begin to breathe slowly and deeply:

Inhale fully, exhale, relax completely,

Now scan your body, starting at your feet, simply noticing how your body is feeling. Notice your feet, ankles, legs, hips. Continue scanning your body, moving to your stomach, back, chest, sides. Scan your hands, arms, shoulders, neck, head, and face. Perhaps even touch each body part with your hand in order to connect with it. How does each part feel? What areas have the most tension or negative energy?

Continue to breathe deeply. Take 10 more deep, full breaths, releasing any residual tension.

Start here and branch out. Work on breathing exercises just 10 minutes a day. Research different schools of meditation (for example Focused Attention, Transcendental) and find something that works for you. If you are religious or want to connect to spirituality, use reaching out to a higher power as a mode of meditation.

When we’re awake to it, living in the moment is possible. We can find profundity in the seemingly mundane. We can experience every moment of our dash.

Weight Release & Body Image Coach Laura Fenamore is on a mission to guide women around the world to love what they see in the mirror, one pinky at a time, so they can unlock the secrets to a healthy weight and start loving their lives as soon as possible.

Her popular Body Image Mastery program is celebrated by hundreds of women who have lost weight, reclaimed self-esteem, and started bold, happy lives with Laura and her proven programs as their guide.

Having overcome her own battle with addiction, obesity, and eating disorders, Laura released over 100 pounds 24 years ago to begin a journey to guide other women to live more joyous, balanced lives. The author of the forthcoming book Weightless: 7 Tools to Love Your Body (and Lose Weight For Good) and a frequent contributor to local and national media – including First for Women, Ladies Home Journal, the Dr. Pat Show and blog contributor on Betty Confidential, Daily Love and Positively Positive. Laura believes that self-love and self-care is where the transformation begins. Learn more about her programs, invite her to speak or contribute to your program or conference, at OnePinky.com.

Posted in Body Image, Inspiration, Motivation, Self-Love | Leave a comment

Being at Peace with Yourself Through Plastic Surgery

Posted on April 24, 2012 by Laura Fenamore

People may point the finger and say I am a sell out and in my heart I know that is not true. Let me explain. I am asked often how I feel about plastic surgery and while I have had judgements of individuals choosing to in some cases mutilate their body, it really is none of my business in keeping with my “live and let live” life philosophy. However, my personal and professional answers are different as my professional answer is more complex. If women did not hate their bodies so much, we would not feel the need to run for the knife to feel better about ourselves. So in that case the global answer is to ask deeper questions about why you feel the need to do have surgery.

Do you think you will be liked more?
Do you feel the need to prove something?
Do you see it as the only way to get approval from men?
Do you loathe your body and think that surgery will make it all better?

We know that plastic surgery will not make women love themselves more. They must be doing the internal work (which is what I teach here at OnePinky.com) while making the external changes. They must both be in harmony.

I thought I would share some words that resonated with me from plasticsurgeryguide.com.

“Board certified plastic surgeons can help modify your face and body, but the health of your spirit is another thing entirely, something that can’t be fixed by razor or laser. All the plastic surgery in the world won’t help you love yourself if you don’t value who you are. The flesh is the mortal seat where your soul rests, it is the fabric that connects your spirit to the world. While your physical form is important and irreplaceable, so is your spirit. When life throws a curve ball and plastic surgery proves necessary, it is important to remember that recovery isn’t only for the body but the heart as well. Spiritual needs are as basic and essential as breathing.

The heart and essence of who you are remains even after something as drastic as surgery. Society can draw too much unwarranted attention to the physical appearance. While this behaviour is commonplace, it can be destructive. We all know that people are more than their bodies, just as books are more than their covers. We have ideas, hopes, dreams, loves, talents and desires. Everyone has something unique to contribute to the world’s perspective. We can all enrich the lives of those around us because we are special, one of a kind entities. There will never be another you. Everyone has intrinsic value. Unfortunately, most people tend to undervalue themselves.

Too many people find it easy to judge others based on money, appearance and social standing. When self-doubt and self-loathing seep into the psyche, it can be hard to remember that no one is perfect. Even the people that society considers most beautiful have a bit of negative self-image. If there are pieces about yourself that you truly want to change, try coming at the challenge in a constructive rather than destructive manner. Patterns of negative behaviour or thoughts are hard to break. Breaking a cycle of self-depreciation can be as difficult as quitting smoking. The key is persistence. Confidence and self-love won’t appear overnight. Positive energy must be nurtured and safeguarded.

There’s a Cherokee anecdote that portrays the psyche as two opposing wolves, one positive and the other negative. Which wolf will ultimately win? The one you feed. Practice loving yourself. Recognize your strengths, talents and attractive qualities. Feed positive energy into the places that deserve it. Surround yourself with positive influences. During this time, you don’t need negative, criticizing voices. Listen to your heart and nurture its needs. Take time to build yourself up, to strengthen the bond between your body and soul. Search for the grain of hope that exists in everyone. Try to focus on the things in your life that truly matter.”

Remember, there is always hope. Reach out, ask for support and watch the miracles happen. They are happening every day whether we notice them or not.

Posted in Adult Self-Esteem, Body Image, Self-Love | Leave a comment

Why We Feel Out of Control

Posted on March 23, 2012 by Laura Fenamore

Americans spend $137 Billion a year on Fast Food
$60 Billion on Weight Loss Solutions
And $147 Billion on Healthcare of Obesity And Rising…

And I have a simple solution that costs very little and works.

However, not everyone that is reading this is a candidate for my solution.

My solution requires dealing with the issues that most people eat over or want to avoid.

My solution requires you to get over your impatience which takes you away from what you truly want.

My solution requires you to go inside and deal with the “issues in your tissues” so that you no longer feel trapped, alone and defective around your body and your weight.

Yesterday I was talking to someone who told me that my 12 week course sounded great however, she couldn’t afford it, and she would rather continue at age 46 keeping busy and avoid taking care of herself until it was absolutely necessary. It made me very sad that she chose avoidance as a way of being around her body and her life.

My experience is that we are so wired for instant results, that anything that takes time and effort is to be avoided at all costs. And yet that is truly where transformation happens. And what I know for sure is that slow and steady wins the race & fast & easy usually burns out pretty quickly leaving you feeling unhappy and discouraged.

I have so many students to be proud of. I chose not to birth children this lifetime, however, my students fulfill what I can only imagine it feels like to be a Mom. They fill me up and make me proud. Women who have looked fear in the eye and chose differently. Women who did not see way out and yet stayed in the process until they began to see signs of hope and light. One student of mine has been so brave to share her truth with you all. She came to me with all kinds of stories about how this could/would not work for her. And yet her wise self knew there was another way, hence her showing up and asking for help.

Here is an excerpt from her story:

“When I met Laura, I was a mess. I wanted a lot of things…mostly to be thin because that would be the answer to all of my problems. I was living in a world of, “When I lose
weight I’ll…” and that just wasn’t working for me. I was a compulsive overeater. I would eat regardless of the emotion. I would eat to punish others. Sounds crazy I know.
I hated it. I hated me. I hated myself for getting fat. I hated myself for staying fat. I hated myself for not being able to control the urges.

I knew what to do and what not to do. One of my clients is a nutritionist. I had all the knowledge right there. But I just couldn’t put it into place. I’d blame it on my sugar addiction. “They say it’s like having a cocaine addiction,” I’d tell others. “I can’t control it.” I tried every fad, every diet. I starved, I did shots, I did it all. I kept searching for the magic pill.

I had been asking the Universe for help. Did I need therapy? Did I need Overeaters Anonymous? What in the world was it going to take for me to stop reaching for food? The Universe responded and sent me Laura. I entered the Body Image Mastery program with the same mindset I did everything else. It’s the magic pill. This is what’s going to do it! But I didn’t want to do the work.

About halfway through, I talked with Laura. She convinced me to just do the work, one step at a time. And something happened. I started discovering hidden secrets that have been part of this thing called self-sabotage. Shifts started to happen. The more I did the steps in her program, the more things started changing for the better.

The program ended, but my personal work hasn’t. I’m still working the Body Image Mastery Program every day. But now I’ve moved on to personal coaching with Laura. She’s been a tremendous asset on my quest for self. When I’m harsh, she reminds me to be kind. When I’m frustrated she’s my voice of calmness. I’ve had to say goodbye to old habits, old comforts that were no longer serving me. I’ve had to change my mindset in a lot of areas. I’ve had to develop patience.

Laura has helped me to realize that no matter what I do, the weight is not going to come off over night. I used to say, “When I lose weight I’ll go [biking, hiking, kayaking],” or
“I’ll be able to dress cute and make myself look nice.”

With Laura’s encouragement and support, I’ve begun doing these things anyway. I’ve noticed that when I go shopping for clothes, I’m choosing colorful clothing instead of
black. I’ve stopped hiding. Laura has helped me to love myself and be patient with myself. I still have a long way to go, but for once, I’m looking forward to the journey.

It’s an adventure…and I did a lot of research when looking for someone to hold my hand on this journey and no one I see out there does it quite like Laura.”

Do you understand why I feel so proud? She did the work. I was a vessel. She stayed even when she felt hopeless. And her end results are amazing. She is so light in spirit
and body now. If you are reading this and are looking for answers about how not to avoid your body, your health, your weight, then the time is now, the place is here.

My 12 week Body Image Mastery class begins on March 27th, 2012 at 5pm PT 8pm ET.

The class meets the following Tuesdays on the phone.

March 27th
April 3, 10, 17, 24
May 1, 8, 15, 22, 29
June 5, 12

You are worth the time you devote to this course work and class time. I hope that you feel called to play with us. Take an adventure of your lifetime.