This quote from Eric Handler’s TEDx speech, hit me right to the core. We’ve all been told to “live in the moment,” but the way Eric framed it makes it crystal clear that those moments are life. Those experiences, feelings, joys, loses string together into that dash between cradle and grave. The more we can focus on those moments, the more we “live in the dash,” the happier and fuller we’ll be.

Great news, right? All we have to do is live in the moment and fulfillment is ours. It is those simple things that are not so easy. Ours is a result-oriented society, a place where goals, aspirations, the promise of the future eclipses where we are today. Ours is a culture in which hustle and bustle are given priority over the here and now. It’s not impossible, however. And what’s better, we can actually practice living in the dash. Actively working on being present for 10 minutes a day will carry over into our daily lives and help us to appreciate the infinite opportunities that arise every day.

I connect to being in the moment through daily meditation and prayer. By dedicating time expressly to being with myself and my thoughts, I train my mind to do so instinctively even when I’m not trying to do so.

Maybe you’ve never meditated; perhaps you’re an expert practitioner. No matter where you are, here is an easy, breath-focused practice to help you live in the moment.

Find a safe and comfortable place to lie down, preferably on a mat or the floor.

Relax your shoulders, your neck, your jaw, your chest, your belly.

Begin to breathe slowly and deeply:

Inhale fully, exhale, relax completely,

Now scan your body, starting at your feet, simply noticing how your body is feeling. Notice your feet, ankles, legs, hips. Continue scanning your body, moving to your stomach, back, chest, sides. Scan your hands, arms, shoulders, neck, head, and face. Perhaps even touch each body part with your hand in order to connect with it. How does each part feel? What areas have the most tension or negative energy?

Continue to breathe deeply. Take 10 more deep, full breaths, releasing any residual tension.

Start here and branch out. Work on breathing exercises just 10 minutes a day. Research different schools of meditation (for example Focused Attention, Transcendental) and find something that works for you. If you are religious or want to connect to spirituality, use reaching out to a higher power as a mode of meditation.

When we’re awake to it, living in the moment is possible. We can find profundity in the seemingly mundane. We can experience every moment of our dash.

Weight Release & Body Image Coach Laura Fenamore is on a mission to guide women around the world to love what they see in the mirror, one pinky at a time, so they can unlock the secrets to a healthy weight and start loving their lives as soon as possible.

Her popular Body Image Mastery program is celebrated by hundreds of women who have lost weight, reclaimed self-esteem, and started bold, happy lives with Laura and her proven programs as their guide.

Having overcome her own battle with addiction, obesity, and eating disorders, Laura released over 100 pounds 24 years ago to begin a journey to guide other women to live more joyous, balanced lives. The author of the forthcoming book Weightless: 7 Tools to Love Your Body (and Lose Weight For Good) and a frequent contributor to local and national media – including First for Women, Ladies Home Journal, the Dr. Pat Show and blog contributor on Betty Confidential, Daily Love and Positively Positive. Laura believes that self-love and self-care is where the transformation begins. Learn more about her programs, invite her to speak or contribute to your program or conference, at OnePinky.com.

• Do you think you will be liked more?
• Do you feel the need to prove something?
• Do you see it as the only way to get approval from men?
• Do you loathe your body and think that surgery will make it all better?

We know that plastic surgery will not make women love themselves more. They must be doing the internal work (which is what I teach here at OnePinky.com) while making the external changes. They must both be in harmony.

I thought I would share some words that resonated with me from plasticsurgeryguide.com.

“Board certified plastic surgeons can help modify your face and body, but the health of your spirit is another thing entirely, something that can’t be fixed by razor or laser. All the plastic surgery in the world won’t help you love yourself if you don’t value who you are. The flesh is the mortal seat where your soul rests, it is the fabric that connects your spirit to the world. While your physical form is important and irreplaceable, so is your spirit. When life throws a curve ball and plastic surgery proves necessary, it is important to remember that recovery isn’t only for the body but the heart as well. Spiritual needs are as basic and essential as breathing.

The heart and essence of who you are remains even after something as drastic as surgery. Society can draw too much unwarranted attention to the physical appearance. While this behaviour is commonplace, it can be destructive. We all know that people are more than their bodies, just as books are more than their covers. We have ideas, hopes, dreams, loves, talents and desires. Everyone has something unique to contribute to the world’s perspective. We can all enrich the lives of those around us because we are special, one of a kind entities. There will never be another you. Everyone has intrinsic value. Unfortunately, most people tend to undervalue themselves.

Too many people find it easy to judge others based on money, appearance and social standing. When self-doubt and self-loathing seep into the psyche, it can be hard to remember that no one is perfect. Even the people that society considers most beautiful have a bit of negative self-image. If there are pieces about yourself that you truly want to change, try coming at the challenge in a constructive rather than destructive manner. Patterns of negative behaviour or thoughts are hard to break. Breaking a cycle of self-depreciation can be as difficult as quitting smoking. The key is persistence. Confidence and self-love won’t appear overnight. Positive energy must be nurtured and safeguarded.

There’s a Cherokee anecdote that portrays the psyche as two opposing wolves, one positive and the other negative. Which wolf will ultimately win? The one you feed. Practice loving yourself. Recognize your strengths, talents and attractive qualities. Feed positive energy into the places that deserve it. Surround yourself with positive influences. During this time, you don’t need negative, criticizing voices. Listen to your heart and nurture its needs. Take time to build yourself up, to strengthen the bond between your body and soul. Search for the grain of hope that exists in everyone. Try to focus on the things in your life that truly matter.”

Remember, there is always hope. Reach out, ask for support and watch the miracles happen. They are happening every day whether we notice them or not.

And I have a simple solution that costs very little and works.  

However, not everyone that is reading this is a candidate for my solution.  

My solution requires dealing with the issues that most people eat over or want to avoid.  

My solution requires you to get over your impatience which takes you away from what you truly want.  

My solution requires you to go inside and deal with the “issues in your tissues” so that you no  longer feel trapped, alone and defective around your body and your weight.  

Yesterday I was talking to someone who told me that my 12 week course sounded great however, she couldn’t afford it, and she would rather continue at age 46 keeping busy and avoid taking care of herself until it was absolutely necessary. It made me very sad that she chose avoidance as a way of being around her body and her life.

My experience is that we are so wired for instant results, that anything that takes time and effort is to be avoided at all costs. And yet that is truly where transformation happens. And what I know for sure is that slow and steady wins the race & fast & easy usually burns out pretty quickly leaving you feeling unhappy and discouraged.  

I have so many students to be proud of. I chose not to birth children this lifetime, however, my students  fulfill what I can only imagine it feels like to be a Mom. They fill me up and make me proud. Women who have looked  fear in the eye and chose differently. Women who did not see  way out and yet stayed in the process until they began  to see signs of hope and light. One student of mine has been so brave to share her truth with you all. She came to me  with all kinds of stories about how this could/would not work for her. And yet her wise self knew there was another way, hence her showing up and asking for help.

Here is an excerpt from her story:

“When I met Laura, I was a mess. I wanted a lot of things…mostly to be thin because that would be the answer to all of my problems. I was living in a world of, “When I lose
weight I’ll…” and that just wasn’t working for me. I was a  compulsive overeater. I would eat regardless of the emotion. I would eat to punish others. Sounds crazy I know.  
I hated it. I hated me. I hated myself for getting fat. I hated myself for staying fat. I hated myself for not being able to control the urges.

I knew what to do and what not to do. One of my clients is a nutritionist. I had all the knowledge  right there. But I just couldn’t put it into place. I’d blame it on my sugar addiction. “They say it’s like having a cocaine addiction,” I’d tell others. “I can’t control it.” I tried every fad, every diet. I starved, I did shots, I did  it all. I kept searching for the magic pill.

I had been asking the Universe for help. Did I need therapy? Did I need Overeaters Anonymous? What in the world was it going to take for me to stop reaching for food? The Universe responded and sent me Laura. I entered the Body Image Mastery program  with the same mindset I did everything else. It’s the magic pill. This is what’s going to do it! But I didn’t want to do  the work.

About halfway through, I talked with Laura. She convinced me to just do the work, one step at a time. And  something happened. I started discovering hidden secrets that have been part of this thing called self-sabotage. Shifts started to happen. The more I did the steps in her program, the more things started changing for the better.  

The program ended, but my personal work hasn’t. I’m still working the Body Image Mastery Program every day. But now  I’ve moved on to personal coaching with Laura. She’s been a tremendous asset on my quest for self. When I’m harsh, she  reminds me to be kind. When I’m frustrated she’s my voice of calmness. I’ve had to say goodbye to old habits, old  comforts that were no longer serving me. I’ve had to change my mindset in a lot of areas. I’ve had to develop patience.

Laura has helped me to realize that no matter what I do, the weight is not going to come off over night. I used to say,  “When I lose weight I’ll go [biking, hiking, kayaking],” or
“I’ll be able to dress cute and make myself look nice.”

With Laura’s encouragement and support, I’ve begun doing these things anyway. I’ve noticed that when I go shopping  for clothes, I’m choosing colorful clothing instead of
black. I’ve stopped hiding. Laura has helped me to love  myself and be patient with myself. I still have a long way to go, but for once, I’m looking forward to the journey.  

It’s an adventure…and I did a lot of research when looking for someone to hold my hand on this journey and no one I see out there does it quite like Laura.”

Do you understand why I feel so proud? She did the work. I was a vessel. She stayed even when she felt hopeless.  And her end results are amazing. She is so light in spirit
and body now. If you are reading this and are looking for  answers about how not to avoid your body, your health, your weight, then the time is now, the place is here.  

My 12 week Body Image Mastery class begins on March 27th, 2012 at 5pm PT 8pm ET.  

The class meets the following Tuesdays on the phone.

March 27th
April 3, 10, 17, 24
May 1, 8, 15, 22, 29
June 5, 12

You are worth the time you devote to this course work and class time. I hope that you feel called to play with us. Take an adventure of your lifetime.

www.OnePinky.com/bodyimagemastery

I welcome meeting you.

P.S. We offer a payment plan. Please email me for the link
to that.   

• What does health, happiness and abundance mean to you, what does that look like?
• What are the daily practices, rituals, mindset, etc. that help ensure you are living the life
you want?

And it was easy for me to roll answers off my tongue because of how I live my life today. I have so much gratitude for my life, who I choose to align myself with, and how I choose to live day to day. The most important piece being that I am at choice about my health and happiness and no matter what is going on “out there”, I can still choose peace. However, this feeling of continuous gratitude and being enough did not come naturally for me. Yet once I decided that I would do anything it took to keep an open heart and be awake for this wonderful experience called life, (more than I wanted suffering), doors opened up so fast and so wide, even I could not keep up with how much love and support was out there for me at first.

Despite what you may read in the news or hear from your friends and loved ones, in spite of an economic down turn, the world is a great, wonderful, safe place and as long as you take steps to incorporate that thought system into your life, things will start shifting for you in ways that you could not imagine.

One of my amazing newer students has taken my work on hook, line and sinker. She is doing my workbook and we meet once a week on the phone. And I know she will succeed because she signed up for change and does the things I suggest she does. For example, when she is feeling the need to binge/neglect her needs, she will reach out and ask for help or she will go onto YouTube and watch some motivational videos I have suggested. She will no longer isolates herself and looks for reasons why she will not be able to change. She now knows how not to suffer in silence.

I could literally go on for days about the loving teachers who have been on my path for years who have given me wheels when I could not walk and stilts as I found my voice. In service of time, let me share some of my amazing colleagues and teachers who are doing phenomenal work to support people in improving their lives and to spread more positivity and love on this planet. I like to think of these light filled leaders as those who expose the “truth”.

I encourage you all to check them out, sign up for their lists/like them on Facebook/follow them on twitter, etc. I blog for them and/or cherish their beings and use them as examples of all the good there is in the world.

• Lori Deschene of TinyBuddah.com
• Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love.com
• Eric Handler of PositivelyPositive.com
• Christine Bronstein of ABandOfWives.ning.com
• Lori Fields of RealBeautyIs.com
• Carre Sutton of BeautyDisrupted.com
• Dr. Lissa Rankin of OwningPink.com
• Dr. Ritamarie of DrRitamarie.com
• Myra Lewin of HalePule.com

I have a new friend and colleague who like me is committed to health and well-being. His name is Kodjo Hounnaké and you must check him out. He was kind enough to share this amazing Chicken Marbella recipe with me. I can still appreciate a good chicken recipe even if I do not eat it.

Kodjo and I both use and love Yum Yum dishes. A great tool for portion control and the beautiful colors and design add fun to eating time. Enjoy the recipe and anyone who comments on this post will receive a 20% discount off of your Yum Yum dishes order.

Chicken Marbella is a classic healthy easy recipe that mixes sweet, salty, and tart flavors, in a delicious blend that is a delight for your taste buds. The recipe combines prunes, garlic, capers, olives, and herbs. This seemingly complex dish can be cooked in less than 1 hour. For best taste, allow the chicken to marinate overnight, however marinating for 3 to 4 hours will be just fine.

The Chicken Marbella recipe also requires the skin to be left on the chicken quarters. I recommend trimming any extra fat, and excess skin from the chicken quarters. Though chicken with the skin is a good source of protein and niacin, and low in sodium, chicken skin is high in cholesterol and trans fats. Trimming the excess skin will limit the amount of cholesterol you ingest. I also like to soak the chicken in water, with fresh squeeze lemon juice. Not only does the lemon juice cut the fresh taste of the chicken, it also emulsifies the fat.

This healthy easy recipe contains garlic, prunes, bay leaf, capers, and olives, which are all low in cholesterol and saturated fat.

• Garlic is low in sodium and is a good source of manganese, vitamin B6, vitamin C, calcium, selenium, and phosphorus.
• Prunes are also low in sodium and rich in vitamin K, and represent a good source of dietary fiber.
• Bay leaf is low in sodium and a good source of calcium and manganese, iron, folate and dietary fiber. It is also rich in vitamins A, C, and B6.
• Olives are great sources of vitamin E.
• Capers contain vitamins A, C, E, K, and dietary fiber. In addition, capers contain iron, copper, niacin, manganese, riboflavin, protein, a great source of folate, and calcium. Folate is a water-soluble vitamin B that occurs naturally in food. Both olives and capers are high in sodium, so moderation is key. Keep this in mind when adding salt during seasoning. You don’t want to ruin this healthy easy recipe by making it too salty.

Chicken Marbella: Ingredients

• 2 chickens, 2 1/2 lbs each, quartered, skin-on
• 1/2 cup of pitted prunes
• 1/4 cup of capers with a bit of juice
• 8 large pitted Spanish green olives, cut in half
• 1/2 head of garlic, peeled and finely chopped
• 2 tablespoons of fresh Italian parsley, finely chopped
• 3 bay leaves
• 2 tablespoons of dried oregano
• Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper ( to your taste)
• 1/4 cup of red wine vinegar
• 1/4 cup of olive oil
• 1/2 cup of white wine
• 1/4 cup of brown sugar

Chicken Marbella: Step-by-Step Directions

1) In a large container with the chicken pieces, combine garlic, bay leaves, oregano, salt and pepper to taste, olive oil, prunes, green olives, capers with caper juice, and vinegar. Make sure the chicken is coated completely with the marinade. Cover and, let it marinate, refrigerated overnight, or for three to four hours.

2) Preheat your oven to 350° Fahrenheit. Arrange the marinated Chicken Marbella in a single layer, in a large shallow baking pan, and spoon on the marinade evenly. Sprinkle the Chicken Marbella pieces with brown sugar, and pour the ¼ cup of white wine around them.

3) Bake the Chicken Marbella for 50 minutes to 1 hour, basting it frequently with the pan juices.

4) With a slotted spoon, transfer the baked chicken, prunes, olives, and capers, to a serving platter. Add some of the pan juices and sprinkle generously with parsley or cilantro. Serve the remaining juice in gravy.

Chicken Marbella Final Words

The Chicken Marbella can be served with egg noodles or quinoa, and a side salad. As you can see, this healthy easy recipe was cooked under an hour. It perfectly suit someone with a buy schedule

Yield: Makes 5 to 8 servings.

Author Bio: Kodjo Hounnake is a home fitness enthusiast who believes the average person can get and remain in great shape right at home. You do not need expensive gym equipment to achieve the body of your dreams. Your body weight is sufficient enough. See the hundreds of home workout videos on my home fitness blog.

Every day that I wake up, I feel tremendous gratitude for all I have.

Considering how dark my beginning was, child abuse, obesity, alcoholism…my life could have gone and ended in a horrible way.

And yet recently, folks, I really hit the jackpot big time.

I was so fortunate to attend the Ms. Magazine luncheon on January 27^th, 2012 with the person I hold responsible for leading the feminist movement, my shero, Gloria Steinem. I know the experience will go down as one of the highlights of this year.

When I arrived at S.F. State University in 1980, I was a train wreck. My struggles with obesity and alcoholism were out of control; I was in a downward spiral. I had come to California from New York thinking the “Golden State” would save me; instead, I was landing on my face (literally, in a drunken stupor). And then something shifted. I found the Women Studies Department.

I began to take classes in the Women’s Studies Department, which spoke to me in a way that nothing else had. I had known I was gay from a very young age but had repressed my feelings. These classes helped me step into my fears about “coming out” and allowed me a safe space to be me; I did come out as a lesbian when I was 21. The Women Studies Department helped give me my voice.

Because of those classes, I began to read Ms. Magazine and to research its founder, Gloria Steinem. She was (and still is) my role model.  I was incredibly moved by her calm articulate manner. Gloria was and still is (at 78 years old) a revolutionary and a natural leader. Back in the early 80’s I wanted to meet her and was fortunate enough to work at a book signing on campus and got a chance to say hello. I treasure that day and remember that she was everything I expected — kind, loving, generous, smart.

Fast forward 30 years.

Last year a documentary on Gloria’s life came out on HBO called In Her Own Words. I watched it and said to my life partner, Kathleen, “I have to meet Gloria again.” I just want to tell her how she inspired my life and path.

This past Friday, I got that chance. I met Gloria again because of my involvement in A Band Of Wives. A Band Of Wives is one of my favorite women’s groups out there. It was formed to provide a safe place for women to ask for and find the support they need, to have their voices heard through blogs and forum discussions, to introduce like-minded women to each other through specialized groups and events, and to bring women together around important issues as a united voice. And the most important thing you need to know is that you do not have to be married, to belong; you just have to be a woman.

I love A Band of Wives’ founder Christine Bronstein and find her commitment to serve as strong as Gloria’s. Christine is a beloved leader and was one of the women responsible for Gloria being at this fundraiser. She was also responsible for my being there.

The morning of the event, I am getting ready and this voice told me to turn on the television show, The View. I’m not a big TV person, but for some reason I flipped it on. The hostesses were discussing their mentors and heroes. Funnily enough, Joy Behar, a mentor of mine, names Gloria Steinem as her mentor! She goes on to discuss all of Gloria’s amazing achievements and how much she admires what Gloria has done for women around the world. I took it as a sign – this lunch was going to be seriously amazing.

I arrived at Spruce Restaurant in San Francisco happy to see some familiar faces and excited to meet a whole new group of innovative, empowered women. The fundraiser for Ms. Magazine was intimate – When Gloria entered, the entire room lit up; everyone was thrilled just to be in the presence of such an influential leader of the feminist movement. Kind, open-hearted, and gracious, Gloria was a delight to meet.

Gloria began her talk by saying, “People ask me all the time, why feminism? Why not focus now on something else at this point? Because all relevant issues are covered. It is the most prevalent movement and everything that we are facing stems from it.” Gloria then went on to speak about how women must treat themselves the way they want to be treated by others. It’s not enough to insist on equality from others; we must take it ourselves. We have to stop seeing ourselves through the eyes of Madison Avenue advertisers, through the perspectives of beauty put forth by reality TV. She talked about how common plastic surgery, including vaginal plastic surgery, is.

I found Gloria’s mention of the prevalence of vaginal plastic surgery fascinating. She talked about how such surgeries illustrate how willing women still are to voluntarily go under the knife for cosmetic procedures. I took it upon myself to research such surgeries, and I found it is indeed a growing practice. Procedures such as labia reduction and even hymen restoration are becoming more and more popular. This article from over six years ago discusses the growing prevalence of such surgeries, citing women who want to achieve the look of porn stars.

While I don’t judge those who decide to have plastic surgery, it does make me sad that so many women are still trying to change themselves to conform to society’s standards of beauty. And this relates very closely to the feminist movement. Before we can ask others to see us as equals, we have to see ourselves that way. We have to believe that we are perfect as we are. We must embrace ourselves, warts and all. Supposed “imperfections” are the things that make us unique individuals; we should celebrate them.

After giving her views, Gloria was very clear that she didn’t want to give a lecture; rather, she was there to have a conversation, to hear all of our voices. The host committee allowed everyone to stand up and share our work. I think we were all in awe of one another. What an amazing group of women…

The whole event was extraordinary. Meeting so many women who were following their dreams and who strive every day to make the world a better place was truly inspiring. Gloria’s influence was palpable – she has created an amazing legacy, of which I am honored to be a part.

It happens to me all the time. I will meet someone and say to myself, “That was the father I never had,” or, “That is the friend, teacher, mentor I have been looking for years.”

That was how I felt when I first picked up a book written by David Wolfe. Meeting him sealed the deal. It was not like David was my father or brother, but rather this divine being who could teach me a lot. And he did…and continues to.

There are so many teachers who have crossed my path through the years and inspired me to take action, yet I give  David much of the credit for getting me to a higher level of self-care and self-love. He taught me about nutrition through his books and videos and shed light on the energy that food is. While I always knew that processed food was depleted of energy, I was inspired to learn more about the life force of food through David’s books and through watching him speak. I love that man. Since I am on his mailing list, he recently wrote a piece called, “Why I am NOT a Millionaire.” While I know he would be the first person to not judge people who have money, he did share about the effects that scarcity consciousness has on our body and our health. He writes:

“What constitutes real wealth, anyway?

There are many people suffering in hospital beds, eating hybridized, genetically modified processed foods, who are spiritually, emotionally, and mentally confused. There are many billionaires even, suffering from poor health and unable to experience the vast number of enjoyments they have spent their life acquiring.

I have few assets, and yet I’ve never lacked for anything.  I’ve never eaten anything but the best food ever… slept in the best (grounded) beds ever… traveled to the most exotic lands ever… experienced the most extraordinary health ever, shared the company of the most beautiful friends and family, and most of all, met 100,000′s of fantastic, wonderful people like you who are hungry for the knowledge I share.

I am, in my estimation, incredibly rich — perhaps the wealthiest person in the world.

And where is true wealth found? Consider the following:

True wealth is a peaceful state of mind.

True wealth is abundant physical health.

True wealth is spiritual connection to source energy.

True wealth is emotional wellness.

True wealth is found in serving others.

True wealth is knowledge of oneself, knowledge of one’s environment… and finding and following your mission in life.

In addition:        

True wealth cannot be hoarded, only shared.

True wealth is not created by what one has acquired, but by what one gives away.

And true wealth (or happiness in oneself) is directly proportional to the happiness one brings to others.

So let’s consider that our previous notions of “wealth” and “resources” are outdated and irrelevant.

Let’s also consider that making money for its own sake is a meaningless and never-ending, never-fulfilling endeavor.”

So I ask you, what constitutes true wealth for you? I hope and pray that something inside you values health and chooses to put that at the top of your priority list. And just because you may have dodged a bullet meaning you still neglect yourself and are symptom free, I would ask you to consider your body and what it really needs. And if action is calling, the time is now. If not now, when?  David and I both agree that, “Life has so much to offer and it is no dress rehearsal.”

Be sure and connect with David: http://www.DavidWolfe.com

My Year Of Swimming Dangerously –Part 2

When I left you, I was in angst about how I would swim 365 miles that year having just shown up in England where there were no pools to be found.

What was this going to do to my goal?  I remember seeing only one pool while I was in England and strangely, I didn’t want to get into it.  I think it was my way of avoiding the issue of whether or not I was going to fail or succeed in reaching this magical number.  When I returned from the trip, I had a little over 2 months to get those last 64 miles in and I was convinced I could still reach my goal.  So with what I perceived as renewed vigor and determination, I returned to the pool to continue my quest.  Now, my pool wasn’t open everyday, so I knew I would have to factor that into my calculations.  So I decided to increase the distance I would swim each time I was able to swim.  At first, it didn’t seem so bad.  But then little by little, things started to creep in. Such as, how annoyed I got when I had to go to a funeral and miss my swim.  Or the day I decided to swim 3 miles straight without stopping.  What was I thinking? I almost threw up when I climbed out of the pool.  Or the time the lifeguard stopped my swim halfway through because of lightning.  Lightning!  I’ve got my goal to accomplish, who cares if I’m struck by lightning and die?  Do I have to tell you that those last 2 months of 2005 were miserable?  I would wake up in the morning and absolutely resent having to go to the pool, AGAIN!  I told myself, “Don’t ever give yourself a goal like this EVER”!  I felt physically and mentally fatigued. After every swim, I’d note it in the journal and divide days left by miles still to go and sometimes I wondered how it would end.  Again, something to wrap my inner negative voice around.  Well, it did end. And I’m here to report I did reach my goal. In fact, I blew through it.  412.50059 miles to be exact.  But I was left with a bad taste in my mouth about swimming.  I wasn’t as happy as I thought I’d be about doing what I had set out to do because the price of it had become all too consuming.  And it showed.  In the years that followed, I had fewer and fewer trips to the pool.  Only 100 miles in 2007 for example.  So I’d learned a lesson about goals.  Which was, don’t be arbitrary when it comes to setting them.  Think carefully about what it will take to accomplish it.  And I know it comes as no surprise to you that I’ve never set another swimming goal.  I didn’t want to feel so bad about something so good.

And now we come to the present day.  A day you may be surprised to hear that I swam my 441th mile of the year and it’s the final week of December 2011. What happened you ask?  I can only tell you that I kept that promise to myself to never set another goal and I didn’t.  And what returned due to keeping that promise was the joy I felt when I did swim.  So on many days, I would swim in the morning and then again in the evening.  I loved it!  Again.

This story is not meant to squash the value of goals.  It can be motivating and fun to set goals.  I share this story because so many of us experience that negative self talk which I was hearing louder and louder as I was reaching for a brass ring, rather than just enjoying the moment.  I enjoy the moments again.  My body, soul and especially my mind, thank me for that.

I wish you a very Happy New Year 2012 and I hope that you find some movement that you love and set up your goals coming from a place of self-love rather than guilt or pain.

My Year Of Swimming Dangerously –Part 1

As an ongoing student of the OnePinky philosophy, I wanted to share a recent insight I had into the mind/body/soul connection and how it affects the goals we make for ourselves in our continuing journey to be the best we can be.  As we approach the beginning of another “New Year”, I hope my reflections will resonate with you and perhaps even help you have an easier time keeping those “resolutions”.  

In 2001, I weighed 200 pounds and was not making any time for real activity in my life.  So I decided I would go back to doing something I loved.  And what I loved was swimming.  Since I had grown up on a riverbank, swimming was something I began at an early age and took to it like, well, like a fish to water.  While I was never on a swim team, I became a fitness swimmer in 1980.  I would swim for several years, then not swim for several years, and then pick it up again.  Off and on spanning 2 decades. So in 2001 when I was itching to go back to the pool, it helped that swimming was a great activity for someone who was carrying some extra weight, as the water provides buoyancy for added comfort and ease.  And it’s also a great equalizer.  I would often swim faster and farther than other swimmers who looked like they had just stepped out of a catalog for swimwear.  I’ll never forget the day I was soaking in the hot tub after my swim and a personal trainer who was wearing a 2-piece and does not have a 6 pack, SHE HAS AN 8 PACK, walked over to me and said, “You are an awesome swimmer!”.  She was right. I am.  I knew in that moment I had rediscovered something that I did not want to stop doing as I had done in the past.  So I bought some journals and I started logging every swim I did.  What I noticed was each year I would swim a little farther than the year before.  So at the beginning of 2005, I set a goal for myself.  I would swim 365 miles that year.  After all, I had logged 330 miles in 2004, so how hard could it be?  Well, what I didn’t realize was, I didn’t have a preset goal in my head those other years and therefore I had no pressure on myself to reach a magic number.  And what ended up happening was my existence over the course of that year became all about reaching, as I called it, “My Mile Per Day Year”.  I had no idea of the effect this seemingly simple challenge was about to have on me.  Halfway through the year, I had already logged just over 200 miles so the goal seemed very attainable. But something was looming on the horizon that was about to twist my psyche into a knot.  I was planning my first trip to London in October, which would last 3 weeks.  3 weeks I thought, without a pool.  

Please stay tuned to Part 2 of this blog (coming next week) to find out if I make my goal and hear how I made it through England without a pool.                

My oh-so-apprehensive love affair with Spaghetti Squash…

I will be the first to admit that I’m afraid of food. However, when I made the commitment to work with Laura, I told her I would do just about anything she asked me to and that has paid off. Today I feel lighter and better about myself in more ways than one.

I’ve always had a very picky palate and went to school with bread and butter sandwiches for several years of elementary school because I proclaimed that I didn’t like anything else.  My mom finally gave up and sent me on my way.  I have always said, I have texture issues, a dislike of spicy food and an overall apprehension to all things new and unknown in the culinary arena. Laura has successfully (with much apprehension on my part) supported me in trying certain foods I would never have on my own.

The day Laura asked me if I liked Squash, my nose crinkled up and my stomach sank.  Just the word filled me with dread and pre-conceived notions of mushy food that I certainly would not like.  I don’t think I’d ever HAD squash in my 43 years of life but I was 100% certain that it was a scary and undesirable food to be avoided at all costs.

If you know Laura, you will know that she doesn’t push, but will gently suggest.  ”Why don’t you try it – you just never know.” she said.  She started telling me about some different types of squash and how much she loves them and how they are made.  The spaghetti squash intrigued me because anything that resembled spaghetti couldn’t be all bad… I’m part Italian after all and love pasta!  I began to open up to the idea but was still very, very, very nervous about it.

Finally, in a moment of extreme bravery, I told her to send me a recipe – I’d give it a try!  In my head I was making deals with myself like I was a five year old.  (But truth be told – to be afraid of new foods really IS acting like a five year old so I was acting appropriately.)  The deal I made with myself was this:  try the recipe and take at least two bites.  If it was as bad as I expected, I had permission to eat something else.  OK… two bites, that’s doable.

I went to the store and had a hard time finding the spaghetti squash. (I had no earthly idea what it looked like and had to ask for help.)  I was shocked with how hard it was to cut – sharpen your best knives if you decide to give squash a try!  I cut it in half, thought it was Halloween as I scooped out the seeds and stringy stuff in the center then put it in the oven.  I was throughly convinced that two bites would be it and I’d never do this again.  How was this hard, “yellow” thing going to be good?

While it cooked I sauted olive oil with onion, garlic, tomato and basil – THAT smelled good.  Maybe I’d get some REAL PASTA out as the backup plan…

When the squash was done my teenage son and his friend came home.  They thought it smelled good (which it did – garlic!)  and were willing to try it before I did.  I was so excited because then I had someone to test it before my two bites… I was encouraged!  They liked it!

Finally – the moment of truth.  I very cautiously put a bite in my mouth – bracing myself for a weird taste or texture and ensuing disappointment.  But to my utter surprise – I LIKED IT!  I liked squash!  I was so proud of myself I told everyone I talked to in the next few days – it was like I had conquered a major fear or climbed a mountain – to me, this was huge!

I’ve had it a few times since and spaghetti squash will remain a part of my normal food options for years to come.  Now Laura is trying to get me to try kabocha squash – which still has my nose turned up.  I suppose if she didn’t lead me astray last time I should give it a try as well… but not today.

Do you have any great overcoming certain food stories? If so, please share them by commenting here.