I was born curious.
My nickname growing up was Barbara Walters – I just couldn’t stop asking questions. And while I have been put down and made fun of for doing so, I actually can say I now own my curiosity like a badge of SELF-LOVE.
How could I be a coach if I was not curious?
How would I have healed from the years of torture I endured as a child and the self-abuse that manifested for years after?
It was asking myself the deeper questions and having the courage to go to very deep places within myself and others that got me where I am today.
Nine years ago at my 40th birthday party, I had about 50 people in the room who shared stories about me. One common theme was that I could go out to the store for a quick something and come back with the life story of every person’s I had met along the way. I have a way of drawing people out very quickly. I consider it a gift.
I had an experience yesterday that lit me up and really made me happy for my curiosity, and I want to share it with you.
Thai massage is a unique (difficult to find) type of massage that I love. I found a practitioner new to my area and decided to give him a try.
I booked a 90 minute session, but I was with him for nearly 3 hours. I asked him one simple question about his life and how he had moved to this new location and a lot got unraveled . . . and well, I got quite the education.
The massage was great, too, but the depth of his story was the real gift to me.
He said to me, “I was ‘crazy’ before I moved here.” And I said, “when you say ‘crazy’ what do you mean?”
He proceeded to tell me about how a brutal, nearly lethal attack by a family member sunk him into a deep depression which led him to two years of homelessness. He lived in parks in Washington, D.C. and contemplated suicide every day.
Of course my curiosity led me to many questions about where he ate, showered, how he slept – which turned out was in the trees for two years on a hammock through the freezing cold winters.
Despite the voices in his head, his deep depression and desire to die, he found great freedom in little responsibility and also understood his circumstances and the reality around him.
He said, “when you live in a tree in the freezing cold and are suicidal, there is not much to fear.” He was not afraid to die.
Keep in mind that he was telling me all these stories of homelessness during my massage, a situation I was totally okay with. In fact, I asked more and more because I found it fascinating how he had gone from that scenario to having his own massage practice.
I was curious about that part of his brain that was connected to who he really was. He shared that, one day while going over his trauma, he connected that he had taken on his abusers energy and was living his tortured life because of that connection. As soon as he made that link, he began to heal. He started by clearing his energy, moving his body and relearning how to integrate into the world. And eventually, he was able to get that dark, black energy out of his body and mind and start over.
Today he has a thriving practice and a home, and is grateful that he had that experience to see how strong and resilient he really is. He recommends that everyone try homelessness to experience how senseless ‘stuff’ is.
Though I’m not ready to give up the comforts of home living (nor will I ever be), talking to him gave me a new appreciation for my home. My home body and my physical home that I live in.
What about you?
What judgments/feelings come up for you when you think about being homeless?
When you see homeless people?
I welcome your thoughts.Tags: curiosity, depression, homelessness, self abuse, thai massage