In reality, I knew very little.

You see, back then my self-esteem was so low that I lived my life trying to prove that I was OK.

I worked tirelessly to “get” the world to show me I was worthy of being alive.

• Fortunately today I have nothing to prove.
• People either like me or they don’t.
• And either way, all is well.

25 years ago I heard 4 simple words that changed my life. Those words are:

“If not now, when?”

You see I was at a point of being totally demoralized, obese, in pain and just embarrassed to be living in my body.

I was ashamed of my size and my being. So when someone told me that I had a choice to change or stay the same, I finally got it.

I was ready.

If not now, when?

What was I waiting for?

An early death?

A painful tortured existence even worse than it already was?

Fortunately, I was able to dig deep and decided:

·  I was done hating myself.
·  Done making others wrong.
·  Done feeling like an outcast.
·  Done with feeling hopeless.
·  Done with torturing myself and my body.
·  Done with overeating.
·  Done with drinking myself to sickness.
·  Done using every excuse as to why I cannot get help or are worthy of help.
·  And…finally, I was done using TIME AND MONEY as my biggest excuses.

One of my friends and mentors, Bill Barren recently sent this to me in regards to discounting prices and I wanted to share his words which touched me deeply.

Bill writes:

I began to see that the ‘discount mindset’ is one of
scarcity, fear and contraction. It discounts the value you
place on things.  And it discounts the talents of the people
and products you are investing into.

When you believe in the value of what you are getting, it is
your belief that sets in motion your access to that value.

So when someone asked me for a discount, I tell them that I
believe in the service I provide. I believe in the results
they will get from working with me. And I invite them to
invest in themselves in a way that honors them and honors
me.

A new student of mine inspired me to record this video. Please watch it.

So while I am totally sympathetic to circumstances where people do not have the resources to pay for my services, I feel I am doing a disservice to myself and to my clients to make things “cheap” to get people in the door. That is not to say that I will not offer promotions, however, I know in my heart that I am worth your investment and so are you.

What kind of price can you put on a healed mind and a body you love?

I am offering a complimentary 30 minute consultation – on How to Release Weight and Gain a New Improved Life to all brave enough to say, I AM DONE with how things are right now. Just like the brave women I talk about in my video above.  

Take a step. We can discuss all your options.  I am not going to talk you into something you do not want. However, I may show you something you never dreamed possible.  All you have to do is take one small action.  Email me here and say, “I am now ready for the free consult.” And I will send you my calendar with times to choose from.

It is that simple.

Suffering for another year or another decade is not necessary. You can get relief with your body with food and the scale.

What do you want your life to look like a year from now and what are your 4 words that will snap your mind into action?

If you cannot find those 4 words for yourself, feel free to use mine, “if not now when?”

It is all a huge mystery for me. However, one thing that remains true for me is my life purpose. I am here on planet earth during this time to serve and to support women in loving who they see in the mirror.

However, how I do that is changing.

And I feel in my heart that this is the last class (my swan song) of Body Image Mastery that I will teach in this form.

So if you are one of the people who has said:
I am still sitting on the fence,
I will take your next one,
I will do it later on when I have more money –

I suggest you do whatever you need to do to make it happen NOW. Because this class is, my body and heart are telling me, the last one. And I want to be able to share this work with as many of you as I can before I move into the next chapter of my life.

This is my way of calling you out to choose love over pain, joy over suffering and reminding you that nothing will change if nothing changes.

Take a safe risk. I teach self-love through inner peace. I am not out to get anything from you, rather just to give, give, give.
Choose your happiness and health NOW.

Who I am is a truth teller. I want to stand up on the rooftops and call out to all of you women suffering from obesity-related dis-ease and/or poor body image, LOOK UP! HELP IS HERE.

You do not have to suffer for the rest of your life.

I heard about John Of God years ago and something inside me said, YOU MUST GO and see him. I am grateful I listened to that voice. I followed my instinct, I took action for my own benefit, and it paid off big time. In fact, I am going back this fall, this time taking some of my students with me.

If you have had that feeling of “I must do this course,” then there really is no time like the present. Take action for yourself today, and bask in the warmth of discovery that will come with it. I welcome you with open arms.

Action begins here. www.BodyImageMastery.com

XO, Laura

Do you ever feel like you’ve cheated yourself – sacrificed your wants, needs and values – by lying about how you feel? Perhaps for someone else’s sake? How often have you wanted to say NO but instead responded with YES to please others?

It might be last-minute babysitting, staying late at work to cover a colleague’s mistake or it could be ignoring your nagging desire to get some exercise on a Saturday afternoon because your partner really wants to see the latest blockbuster.

In our world of dualities, it seems like there is always a choice – yes or no, good or bad, right or wrong – and there is always other people bombarding us with their answers.

So how do you determine your answer?

It seems, fingers crossed, that economy is on the upswing again. But after four years of iffy, sometimes downright scary economic times, it may not feel like your finances are going to recover any time soon.

We all know intellectually that during scary times like this, we need to take care of ourselves – more than ever!  Yet what we tend to do is seek numbness through unhealthy distractions – more T.V., more comfort junk foods, giving up fitness activities due to cost (things I feel are excuses that move you away from what you really say you may want).

However, investing wisely in yourself is something you can do right now; some healthful steps will even help save you money.  When you practice self-care, you will feel more empowered to handle the rest of the world, no matter what the circumstances may be.

While we all wait for signs of spring and tangible feelings of a better economy, use this time to take courageous steps and focus on your INSIDE life and your body’s health. You can buy the one thing truly worth having – TIME. Better health now will lead to more years down the road.

Here are five tips to THRIVE right now on a tight budget.

1. Can’t afford to eat out?  Stay at home and eat great, nourishing food.  (When we eat at home we tend to make healthier food and eat less of it.)
2. Can’t afford the gym? Walk everywhere. (For example, when running errands, park at the farthest end of the lot and speed walk to the store.)
3. Can’t afford your cleaning lady?  Clean everything yourself – a great workout. (A 150 lb. person will burn over 200 calories per hour!)
4. Can’t afford gas?  Learn to get the most out of your driving. (Better yet, walk, run, or bike whenever possible.)
5. Can’t afford new clothes?  Do the above and fit into the old ones! (Be svelte and spendthrift.)

As spring is almost upon us, extra daylight will improve your mood and outdoor activities will become easier. Stand outside and drink in the changing seasons; welcome the new life happening all around you.  This is a period of rebirth.

Stand in this moment and breath.  Invite the universe into you.  Feel its abundance awaken your cells and fill them with life.  Feel your breath fill you with inspiration and faith.  Today I can live a healthy, empowered life.  Today I choose to LIVE fully and to honor my body and soul.

The ups and downs of stocks and accounts may leave you feeling powerless, but remember: you can always take control of taking good care of yourself. Today, what do YOU choose?

I welcome your comments below.

As we approach the end of one of my favorite months of the year, I got to thinking about people and their resistance. I was thinking about my own resistance and how strong it used to be.

I am one of the many survivors of a horrific childhood.

The child abuse I endured had a huge impact on my self-esteem. In other words, I HAD NO self-esteem. I believed the horrible things my father told me about myself and that pain stopped me and caused much resistance in me.

However, I do remember some sweet moments which I think were my saving grace.

Some of my happiest memories were playing Barbie’s on my next door neighbor’s stoop. We would play for hours and hours and dream of being Barbie in all her majesty. I was fat and scared to death of my threatening home, but when it came to Barbie, all my dreams came true. She was the IT girl to me. She was beautiful, slender, sexy, smart, safe and a go getter. That is how I saw Barbie.

I had no idea back then that my life’s work would be around getting people to own their beauty from the inside – out instead of holding themselves to the impossible Barbie (perfection) standard.

And yet, I cannot fault an object that brought me so much JOY.

I longed to be Barbie and have Ken for my husband and drive off into the sunset happily ever after. It is sad for me today to think that if Barbie were a real woman, she would be obsessing about food and diets.

While Barbie is a huge part of the illusion we girls were sold about having to look a certain way, at the time that illusion did me more good than not, as it was my healthy escape from an abusive home life.

Today I am grateful I had those reprieves in my childhood. I’m not sure where I would be today if I had had nothing to feel excited about. My Dream Barbie did distort my body image, but in other ways, she saved my life.

Another thing I loved to do as a kid was sit on my friends fence and talk. Who knows what we talked about — it was just simple living. And again, any time away from my father’s wrath was happy time for me.

Fences — they are great metaphors for life.

“Being on the fence” is a common phrase that indicates indecision. Often, we want to sit on fences (think, overthink, analyze, figure out, reason, etc.) without coming down and taking some action.

Again, that “fence time” gave me happiness I found nowhere else in childhood, but I would also have to let it go in order to be the person I am today.

I am grateful people invited me to “get off my fence” and take mass live action. It was HUGE but it was done step by step, pinky steps, not all at once. Slow and steady wins the race.

I have the honor to attract women all over the world who are ready to “get off the fence” and take action so that they can live feeling their beauty, inside and out. I am so grateful I had the guidance to get my butt off the fence.

Anyone of us can. Really.

What unrealistic ideals do you hold yourself to? What are you getting from sitting on your fence?

Are you ready to come down and ask for support?

You can take action right now by accepting my free invitation to a 30 minute consultation with me.

Please fill this out and we will email you times to choose from so that we can talk.

I look forward to speaking to you.

I promise you that our time together will be soft and meaningful.

If not now, when?

WHOOOO HOOOO. I feel so blessed.

Kathleen makes me so proud for so many reasons…one of the many things is her endurance as an athlete.

In honor of our 15 year anniversary together on February 14th, I would love to share a little of her with you…

She wrote this out of love for me. Enjoy.

In recent years, I have written 2 OnePinky blog entries called, “My Year Of Swimming Dangerously Part 1 and Part 2″.  

They were about setting a very specific exercise goal for myself and the mental fallout that ensued.   You can read them here.

http://onepinky.com/myyearofswimmingdangerouslypart1/

http://onepinky.com/myyearofswimmingdangerouslypart2/

I’m happy to report that I still love to swim, in fact, I do it just about every day.  And I continue to swim out of pleasure and not guilt.  You see, I’m one of the lucky ones.  I’ve found an activity that I truly love doing.  And that may be the most import consideration one can make when deciding on which form of activity will best fit into their life. 

Often when people meet me for the first time and they learn that I lost over 70 pounds AFTER menopause, they seem to think I have all the answers.  Well, I don’t. But I do like to play a little game with them nevertheless. I’ll say, “I know the best exercise you can do”.  They’ll often ask, “Oh, is it swimming?”  I’ll say “No”.  “Running?”  “No”. “Weight Training?”  “No”.  And then I drop the best pearl of wisdom I believe there is regarding physical activity.  Find the activity you enjoy because that’s the only one you will ever stick with.   Believe me, I know from first-hand experience.  Whether it’s the unused jump rope, or the trampoline that’s tucked away or the Qi Gong DVD that sits undisturbed in my office DVD player.  All of these activities are excellent choices, they just weren’t excellent for me.  And don’t even get me started about yoga.  (I’m glad you love it, but it bores me)

And just like that sage advice regarding healthy food choices, “Don’t think about what you CAN’T eat, think about all the wonderful nourishing foods you CAN eat”, the same goes for exercise. There is a multitude of choices ranging from intense (Cross fit) to mild (Walking)   There’s also sports such as tennis, golf, softball, volleyball, badminton, not to mention my personal favorite, ping pong!

So if you’re in the process of deciding on an exercise plan that will work for you, consider a few things first.

1. Do I prefer exercising alone or in a group?
2. Would I enjoy cardio or strength training (Or both!)?
3. Is it convenient to my lifestyle?
4. Can I sustain my enthusiasm over time?

Also, think back to your childhood.  Do you remember enjoying activities that you would love to rediscover and incorporate into your life?  Make this fun and you will be rewarded many times over.  Not only in how you look but more importantly, in how you feel.

Kathleen

P.S.  And is case you’re wondering, my swimming total in 2012 was 553 miles

I was born curious.

My nickname growing up was Barbara Walters – I just couldn’t stop asking questions. And while I have been put down and made fun of for doing so, I actually can say I now own my curiosity like a badge of SELF-LOVE.

How could I be a coach if I was not curious?

How would I have healed from the years of torture I endured as a child and the self-abuse that manifested for years after?

It was asking myself the deeper questions and having the courage to go to very deep places within myself and others that got me where I am today.

Nine years ago at my 40th birthday party, I had about 50 people in the room who shared stories about me. One common theme was that I could go out to the store for a quick something and come back with the life story of every person’s I had met along the way. I have a way of drawing people out very quickly. I consider it a gift.

I had an experience yesterday that lit me up and really made me happy for my curiosity, and I want to share it with you.

Thai massage is a unique (difficult to find) type of massage that I love. I found a practitioner new to my area and decided to give him a try.

I booked a 90 minute session, but I was with him for nearly 3 hours. I asked him one simple question about his life and how he had moved to this new location and a lot got unraveled . . . and well, I got quite the education.

The massage was great, too, but the depth of his story was the real gift to me.

He said to me, “I was ‘crazy’ before I moved here.” And I said, “when you say ‘crazy’ what do you mean?”

He proceeded to tell me about how a brutal, nearly lethal attack by a family member sunk him into a deep depression which led him to two years of homelessness. He lived in parks in Washington, D.C. and contemplated suicide every day.

Of course my curiosity led me to many questions about where he ate, showered, how he slept – which turned out was in the trees for two years on a hammock through the freezing cold winters.

Despite the voices in his head, his deep depression and desire to die, he found great freedom in little responsibility and also understood his circumstances and the reality around him.

He said, “when you live in a tree in the freezing cold and are suicidal, there is not much to fear.” He was not afraid to die.

Keep in mind that he was telling me all these stories of homelessness during my massage, a situation I was totally okay with. In fact, I asked more and more because I found it fascinating how he had gone from that scenario to having his own massage practice.

I was curious about that part of his brain that was connected to who he really was. He shared that, one day while going over his trauma, he connected that he had taken on his abusers energy and was living his tortured life because of that connection. As soon as he made that link, he began to heal. He started by clearing his energy, moving his body and relearning how to integrate into the world. And eventually, he was able to get that dark, black energy out of his body and mind and start over.

Today he has a thriving practice and a home, and is grateful that he had that experience to see how strong and resilient he really is. He recommends that everyone try homelessness to experience how senseless ‘stuff’ is.

Though I’m not ready to give up the comforts of home living (nor will I ever be), talking to him gave me a new appreciation for my home. My home body and my physical home that I live in.

What about you?

What judgments/feelings come up for you when you think about being homeless?

When you see homeless people?

I welcome your thoughts.

What 2013 has to do with Growing Older…

When I was in my twenties, I seriously thought I knew everything.
In reality, I knew nothing. You see, back then my self-esteem was so low that I lived my life trying to prove that I was OK. I worked tirelessly to “get” the world to show me I was worthy of being alive. I couldn’t risk being wrong, so I decided I knew everything.

Fortunately today I have nothing to prove.
People either like me or they don’t. And either way, all is well.

Because I like me.

I can remember every detail of my 30th birthday like it was yesterday. I loved it. One of the highlights for me was having a long talk with Lynn, a friend of mine. She lived in another county, and while she and I did not get to see each other often, her phone calls were always so meaningful to me.  She rang me up right around my 30th birthday and told me that she wished she could say something that inspired me enough to end my own suffering. Lynn was about to turn 50 and felt very happy, joyous and free, and she wished that she could infuse my body and space with fairy dust so that I could jump energetically to where she was while still maintaining my youth. I assured her that I would do my best to not suffer and that I appreciated all the wisdom and love she brought to my life (I still do).

My 30’s and 40’s, while they brought a lot of Joy, did indeed bring me a lot of emotional and mental pain and anguish, as Lynn suspected. However, what was even stronger was the growth that resulted from these decades. I grew in Wisdom, self-Love, Inner Peace, Connection to myself and others, and I began to really discover the truth of why I am here. My purpose.

One thing I do NOT remember from back then were my thoughts and feelings about eventually turning 5-0. What would that look like? Feel like? I do not believe I ever looked out that far and yet here I am, facing 2013 right in the face. The year I will turn 50.

Lynn was right. 50 feels easier than 40 and 30, and I have not even gotten there yet. I just feel more Peace, more self-Love and less judgment of myself and others. As I say to my students regularly, I do not judge, I just LOVE.

I love anything NEW, including a NEW YEAR and a NEW DECADE that will be mine, God willing, in July 2013, 6 months from today.

And as I get ready to enter into this new year, I feel blessed. So blessed and so grateful.
I am healthy.
I have a body I love.
I have a partner of 15 years whom I cherish.
I have students who fulfill me and I love them.
I have friends and family whom I adore.
I love LIFE and I feel filled up.
I am blessed. So blessed. So grateful.

How do you feel?

Are you living on purpose?
Are you living in a body you love?

One thing I know for sure at this stage of life, like my friend Lynn told me way back when: there is a way for us all to live in less fear, less drama, less pain, because Joy is your birthright.

As a chronic yo yo dieter, I used to let my mind dictate my relationship with food; now my body calls the shots. I follow my body’s intuition and give it what it asks for: nourishing, varied, wholesome food.

Throughout the years, though I’ve run the gamut from raw vegan to eating mostly cooked food, my intention has remained constant, which is to strive for maximum health. For me, that means great digestion and a strong body full of energy. It’s hard for me to believe that at nearly 50 I feel a thousand times better than 10 years ago, when I was 40, still addicted to diet pills and still not loving my body. It’s a testament to how forgiving the body is.

One of the biggest struggles for many of us is vegetables. They’re nature’s wonder food: packed with vitamins, fiber, and potassium. Seems like a no-brainer, but vegetables often take a backseat in meals, coming in behind starches and meat. Maybe we hold a youthful grudge against Brussels sprouts, or perhaps we have children who won’t touch spinach. Whatever the reason, commit to a mind shift this New Year’s to give vegetables another shot.

A dear student of mine Kathy recently shared her adventure with a new vegetable, squash. A lifelong vegetable hater, Kathy agreed to give spaghetti squash a try at my recommendation. Lo and behold, she liked it! Kathy is living proof that at age 60, you are able to try and like new things.

I want to share some tips and a recipe for preparing three of my favorite vegetables – cabbage, eggplant, and squash. Rather unpopular vegetables, both eggplant and squash are full of antioxidants, and cabbage is a first-rate cancer fighter. Plus, when carefully chosen and prepared properly, they can be delicious.

SQUASH
• Prepare your favorite pasta sauce and substitute spaghetti squash for the noodles.
• Roast squash seeds with olive oil and salt (275 degrees for approx. 15 minutes) for a healthy snack.

EGGPLANT
• Because of its substantial texture, eggplant makes a great meat substitute.
• Even though it’s for Thanksgiving, this recipe for eggplant “meat” loaf is good for any winter’s day.

CABBAGE
• A delicious, crunchy, satisfying snack. Slice very thinly and grab a handful for an afternoon treat.
• Add to any stir fry – if you like Chinese food, you’ve undoubtedly eaten cabbage (and enjoyed it).

And lastly, I’d like to share a full recipe for what I call my Cabbage Bake. It’s famous among my carnivore and vegetarian friends alike.

CABBAGE BAKE
2 cups each of thinly sliced cabbage (purple and white)
½ cup already cooked Kabocha squash (google how to cook it, very easy)
1 medium avocado
1 cup cut up firm tofu cut up in cubes
1 tablespoons of sesame seeds (both black and white)
1 tablespoon of sunflower seeds & pumpkin seeds
2 tablespoons of sesame oil or olive oil depending on what I am feeling like, all oils work.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Combine all ingredients in a baking dish (9 x 13). Once the dish goes in the oven, raise the temperature to 400 degrees. Bake 30-40 minutes or until crispy.

For further recipes, check out three of my favorite veggie websites:
http://livingkitchenwellness.com/
http://mouthwateringvegan.com/
http://www.vegiehead.com/

Try some of these recipes this holiday season or in the New Year, and you’ll discover how truly delicious vegetables can be! Both your mouth and your body will thank you.

Happy Experimenting!

For the last weeks of 2012, I invite you to put your inner perfectionist to sleep.

Just have it do what bears do…imagine it going into a cave for winter and taking a long hibernation.

You see, perfectionism is an illusion — one that hurts us in the long run. We vilify our bodies — how they look and how they function often does not meet our criteria. And we are trained to never live up to our expectations, and compare ourselves to others.

Accepting, even embracing our imperfections heals.

1. Make sure I get to bed early enough so that getting up at 5 AM to practice daily, weekends I make it a little later.

2. Buy a new timer (to add variety) that is soothing and gentle to use in my practice.

3. Make sure that everyone in my home continues to be on board with that time being my sacred time, and unless there is an emergency, put a boundary around contacting me at that time.

4. Have a backup plan if I must miss a morning for some unforeseen reason.

5. Ask for help from a coach/friend/family member every month to stay accountable to this commitment.