September 6th, 2009 – Day 6 of 91…I Welcome My Role Model, Leah!

Maybe we should have called our blogs, “the cry babies that healed” from the inside out.

Ha!

I had a deep seeded belief that my inability to control my tears meant that something was really wrong with me.

And one day I got it, “Laura, you had an extremely traumatic and dramatic childhood”.  And while I did cry as a kid, (and my father told me to “stop crying”),  I was always given that order and never felt SAFE to cry. So when I began to really feel my feelings, I cried all the time. And the fear back then for me and for many women reading this is that if they start crying, they will never stop.

This is a myth that was made up by our wounded self to enable suppressing our real feelings. It is small to think that crying is for babies. Crying is a normal and natural release and just not as fun as laughter is.

Laughing is so fun and it does come more often once we give ourselves full permission to cry.

I think my writing to you has brought so many old memories up, both painful and joyful and I am grateful to this process.

I did not expect this challenge to peel back more layers so quickly for me and it has, so I welcome it and thank you Leah for suggesting this so I could go deeper in my process…cause at our core we are perfect and whole. There is no place to get to, we are there already…the core just gets brighter and lighter as we peel away and move towards it. I hope that makes sense…”we have arrived and it just gets better.” The promises just get sweeter and we can all have them.

You my dear are a role model. You have been a role model your whole life and this challenge you called forth is adding a whole new dimension to who you are and what you bring to the world.

For sure you inspire me everyday with every word you write and your writing makes my heart sing.

So thank you for being the role model you are…

And  these words are for you…

Leah, My Role Model

My role model down under in the land of kangaroos and koala bears
Is beautiful in body and soul,
Is super smart and fun, fun, fun

My role model has values similar to mine. She holds family and friends close to her heart no matter what

And calls forth what she wants and needs (she knows how to attract what she needs)

She knows its ok to cry in front of others
Is always there to listen, give guidance, and a hug
She has gorgeous eyes, hair and a smile that will knock anyone out

She has a heart of gold and knows how to call me forth and to that I am…

Forever Grateful

Love you Leah, XO

Laura

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