And I have a simple solution that costs very little and works.  

However, not everyone that is reading this is a candidate for my solution.  

My solution requires dealing with the issues that most people eat over or want to avoid.  

My solution requires you to get over your impatience which takes you away from what you truly want.  

My solution requires you to go inside and deal with the “issues in your tissues” so that you no  longer feel trapped, alone and defective around your body and your weight.  

Yesterday I was talking to someone who told me that my 12 week course sounded great however, she couldn’t afford it, and she would rather continue at age 46 keeping busy and avoid taking care of herself until it was absolutely necessary. It made me very sad that she chose avoidance as a way of being around her body and her life.

My experience is that we are so wired for instant results, that anything that takes time and effort is to be avoided at all costs. And yet that is truly where transformation happens. And what I know for sure is that slow and steady wins the race & fast & easy usually burns out pretty quickly leaving you feeling unhappy and discouraged.  

I have so many students to be proud of. I chose not to birth children this lifetime, however, my students  fulfill what I can only imagine it feels like to be a Mom. They fill me up and make me proud. Women who have looked  fear in the eye and chose differently. Women who did not see  way out and yet stayed in the process until they began  to see signs of hope and light. One student of mine has been so brave to share her truth with you all. She came to me  with all kinds of stories about how this could/would not work for her. And yet her wise self knew there was another way, hence her showing up and asking for help.

Here is an excerpt from her story:

“When I met Laura, I was a mess. I wanted a lot of things…mostly to be thin because that would be the answer to all of my problems. I was living in a world of, “When I lose
weight I’ll…” and that just wasn’t working for me. I was a  compulsive overeater. I would eat regardless of the emotion. I would eat to punish others. Sounds crazy I know.  
I hated it. I hated me. I hated myself for getting fat. I hated myself for staying fat. I hated myself for not being able to control the urges.

I knew what to do and what not to do. One of my clients is a nutritionist. I had all the knowledge  right there. But I just couldn’t put it into place. I’d blame it on my sugar addiction. “They say it’s like having a cocaine addiction,” I’d tell others. “I can’t control it.” I tried every fad, every diet. I starved, I did shots, I did  it all. I kept searching for the magic pill.

I had been asking the Universe for help. Did I need therapy? Did I need Overeaters Anonymous? What in the world was it going to take for me to stop reaching for food? The Universe responded and sent me Laura. I entered the Body Image Mastery program  with the same mindset I did everything else. It’s the magic pill. This is what’s going to do it! But I didn’t want to do  the work.

About halfway through, I talked with Laura. She convinced me to just do the work, one step at a time. And  something happened. I started discovering hidden secrets that have been part of this thing called self-sabotage. Shifts started to happen. The more I did the steps in her program, the more things started changing for the better.  

The program ended, but my personal work hasn’t. I’m still working the Body Image Mastery Program every day. But now  I’ve moved on to personal coaching with Laura. She’s been a tremendous asset on my quest for self. When I’m harsh, she  reminds me to be kind. When I’m frustrated she’s my voice of calmness. I’ve had to say goodbye to old habits, old  comforts that were no longer serving me. I’ve had to change my mindset in a lot of areas. I’ve had to develop patience.

Laura has helped me to realize that no matter what I do, the weight is not going to come off over night. I used to say,  “When I lose weight I’ll go [biking, hiking, kayaking],” or
“I’ll be able to dress cute and make myself look nice.”

With Laura’s encouragement and support, I’ve begun doing these things anyway. I’ve noticed that when I go shopping  for clothes, I’m choosing colorful clothing instead of
black. I’ve stopped hiding. Laura has helped me to love  myself and be patient with myself. I still have a long way to go, but for once, I’m looking forward to the journey.  

It’s an adventure…and I did a lot of research when looking for someone to hold my hand on this journey and no one I see out there does it quite like Laura.”

Do you understand why I feel so proud? She did the work. I was a vessel. She stayed even when she felt hopeless.  And her end results are amazing. She is so light in spirit
and body now. If you are reading this and are looking for  answers about how not to avoid your body, your health, your weight, then the time is now, the place is here.  

My 12 week Body Image Mastery class begins on March 27th, 2012 at 5pm PT 8pm ET.  

The class meets the following Tuesdays on the phone.

March 27th
April 3, 10, 17, 24
May 1, 8, 15, 22, 29
June 5, 12

You are worth the time you devote to this course work and class time. I hope that you feel called to play with us. Take an adventure of your lifetime.

www.OnePinky.com/bodyimagemastery

I welcome meeting you.

P.S. We offer a payment plan. Please email me for the link
to that.   

I have a new friend and colleague who like me is committed to health and well-being. His name is Kodjo Hounnaké and you must check him out. He was kind enough to share this amazing Chicken Marbella recipe with me. I can still appreciate a good chicken recipe even if I do not eat it.

Kodjo and I both use and love Yum Yum dishes. A great tool for portion control and the beautiful colors and design add fun to eating time. Enjoy the recipe and anyone who comments on this post will receive a 20% discount off of your Yum Yum dishes order.

Chicken Marbella is a classic healthy easy recipe that mixes sweet, salty, and tart flavors, in a delicious blend that is a delight for your taste buds. The recipe combines prunes, garlic, capers, olives, and herbs. This seemingly complex dish can be cooked in less than 1 hour. For best taste, allow the chicken to marinate overnight, however marinating for 3 to 4 hours will be just fine.

The Chicken Marbella recipe also requires the skin to be left on the chicken quarters. I recommend trimming any extra fat, and excess skin from the chicken quarters. Though chicken with the skin is a good source of protein and niacin, and low in sodium, chicken skin is high in cholesterol and trans fats. Trimming the excess skin will limit the amount of cholesterol you ingest. I also like to soak the chicken in water, with fresh squeeze lemon juice. Not only does the lemon juice cut the fresh taste of the chicken, it also emulsifies the fat.

This healthy easy recipe contains garlic, prunes, bay leaf, capers, and olives, which are all low in cholesterol and saturated fat.

• Garlic is low in sodium and is a good source of manganese, vitamin B6, vitamin C, calcium, selenium, and phosphorus.
• Prunes are also low in sodium and rich in vitamin K, and represent a good source of dietary fiber.
• Bay leaf is low in sodium and a good source of calcium and manganese, iron, folate and dietary fiber. It is also rich in vitamins A, C, and B6.
• Olives are great sources of vitamin E.
• Capers contain vitamins A, C, E, K, and dietary fiber. In addition, capers contain iron, copper, niacin, manganese, riboflavin, protein, a great source of folate, and calcium. Folate is a water-soluble vitamin B that occurs naturally in food. Both olives and capers are high in sodium, so moderation is key. Keep this in mind when adding salt during seasoning. You don’t want to ruin this healthy easy recipe by making it too salty.

Chicken Marbella: Ingredients

• 2 chickens, 2 1/2 lbs each, quartered, skin-on
• 1/2 cup of pitted prunes
• 1/4 cup of capers with a bit of juice
• 8 large pitted Spanish green olives, cut in half
• 1/2 head of garlic, peeled and finely chopped
• 2 tablespoons of fresh Italian parsley, finely chopped
• 3 bay leaves
• 2 tablespoons of dried oregano
• Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper ( to your taste)
• 1/4 cup of red wine vinegar
• 1/4 cup of olive oil
• 1/2 cup of white wine
• 1/4 cup of brown sugar

Chicken Marbella: Step-by-Step Directions

1) In a large container with the chicken pieces, combine garlic, bay leaves, oregano, salt and pepper to taste, olive oil, prunes, green olives, capers with caper juice, and vinegar. Make sure the chicken is coated completely with the marinade. Cover and, let it marinate, refrigerated overnight, or for three to four hours.

2) Preheat your oven to 350° Fahrenheit. Arrange the marinated Chicken Marbella in a single layer, in a large shallow baking pan, and spoon on the marinade evenly. Sprinkle the Chicken Marbella pieces with brown sugar, and pour the ¼ cup of white wine around them.

3) Bake the Chicken Marbella for 50 minutes to 1 hour, basting it frequently with the pan juices.

4) With a slotted spoon, transfer the baked chicken, prunes, olives, and capers, to a serving platter. Add some of the pan juices and sprinkle generously with parsley or cilantro. Serve the remaining juice in gravy.

Chicken Marbella Final Words

The Chicken Marbella can be served with egg noodles or quinoa, and a side salad. As you can see, this healthy easy recipe was cooked under an hour. It perfectly suit someone with a buy schedule

Yield: Makes 5 to 8 servings.

Author Bio: Kodjo Hounnake is a home fitness enthusiast who believes the average person can get and remain in great shape right at home. You do not need expensive gym equipment to achieve the body of your dreams. Your body weight is sufficient enough. See the hundreds of home workout videos on my home fitness blog.

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie

For some of us, having a happy holiday season feels daunting or even close to impossible. It seems that no matter how hard we work to insulate ourselves against our issues around home and family, the tunnel from Thanksgiving to New Years is a minefield loaded with hidden traps, double agents and too many opportunities to self-destruct or rip open old wounds and old injuries.

In the past, the holiday season was the worst time of year for me; I simply hated the holidays. It was a time during which painful childhood memories of abuse and habits of self-destruction through food and alcohol would resurface. Even the one I did like, Thanksgiving, I came to loathe; I fought a 30+ year battle with my body image and weight, so a holiday that revolved around eating led to a lot of anxiety and suffering.

How are we to protect ourselves from harm and mental injury during this difficult time of year? Do we amputate our past and the people in it? What can we do short of avoiding holidays and celebrations altogether?

The key is tapping into the true nature of the holidays – GRATITUDE. Gratitude was an invaluable tool for me as I healed my childhood wounds. I discovered the thanks I had in my heart for all those who had touched my life – gratitude not only for those who had helped me but also for those whose harmful actions taught me how not to treat myself and others.

Gratitude is now at the top of my to do list every day. When you experience gratefulness for a moment, it will come back to you three-fold in the next. Here are some simple ways to regularly incorporate gratitude into your life.

1. Keep a Daily Gratitude List: Write down at least three things you’re grateful for each day. It can be as simple as “I’m grateful for this cup of coffee” or as profound as “I’m grateful for this beautiful life.” Practice acknowledging good things each day, and soon you’ll find them everywhere.

2. Play B.D.G. (Brag, Desire, Gratitude): Get an email list going with some friends or family and take turns “replying all” with one brag, one desire, and one gratitude. Publicly recognizing an accomplishment or positive quality, expressing a future hope, and giving thanks for what you already have will connect you to the good in your life past, present, and future. Plus it will bring you closer to your loved ones and remind you of the wonderful reasons you care for them.

3. Recite a Daily Affirmation: We all have the ability to create a happy future, and affirmations are a powerful tool in attracting the positive experiences we want. Write an affirmation using positive statements and the present tense, about something you want in your life (ex: The holiday season is an opportunity to enjoy the company of my loved ones; I am so grateful for their presence in my life). Recite it once a day or when facing particularly difficult events or situations.

4. Write a Letter of Thanks: This could be to a parent, co-worker, friend, child, or spouse. Let them know how much they mean to you and how you appreciate their love and/or support. Gratitude begets more gratitude – imagine how thankful the recipient will be!

5. Find Forgiveness in Gratitude: It is especially hard to feel appreciation for those who have hurt us, and yet harboring anger only prolongs our own suffering and strengthens our connection to a painful past. Work towards forgiving those individuals by finding a way to thank them. For example, I now have only gratitude for my abusive father; although he caused me and my siblings much physical and emotional pain, it was this experience that helps me connect to and help other abuse victims.

Practicing thankfulness will make dealing with the emotions of the holidays so much easier. These are your holidays, and if managed carefully, you can create new traditions of love and family. You can break out of the cycles of blame and worry that accompany this time of year and instead find gratitude in spending time with family and food.

What is next? And what will your roadmap look like this season of Peace and Love?

I took myself from a place of longing for the “perfect holiday” (whatever that illusion was) to creating something that really fits in with who I am – spending time with the same group of friends rather than family. I found that, over time, surrounding myself with those I could appreciate easily made it infinitely easier to be thankful for those with whom it was more difficult to feel grateful.

Thanksgiving is truly my favorite holiday now – I love it. And while gratitude is something to be practiced every day, that we take time on this particular day to reflect on all the things we have is a blessing and a gift. I believe in the power of prayer and mindfulness, and I think the power of so many people stopping and reflecting on that day carries us throughout the year.

So this year I welcome November 24th with open arms and ask that you all take a moment to stop and reflect on all that is good in your lives. Put the recession, war, your aches and pains on hold knowing that in your gratefulness, things will shift for the better. As philosopher Geoffrey F Abert wrote, “Prosperity depends more on wanting what you have than having what you want.”

May you all have the most amazing, Love-filled, Gratitude-based Thanksgiving Holiday.

Why wait till the New Year to start manifesting a body you love and creating the relationship of your dreams? Be ahead of the curve and start the New Year on track, feeling self-confident and ready to be your best in partnership. Join me and my dear friend and colleague, Relationship and Dating expert Joy Nordenstrom to provide you with 10 secrets to having a body you love and having the relationship of your dreams. In a relationship now? Great for you. You qualify too as we will be sharing tools that empower you to go deeper into your truth so that your body, heart and mind are all in sync.

If you happen to be single now you will learn tips on how to make your next relationship your best. Healthy bodies (and minds) go hand in hand with healthy relationships.

Come play with us…

Do You Accept The Body You See In The Mirror?

Tell me if this feels familiar: You notice that you’ve put on some weight. When you pass a mirror, you either look away, walking as fast as you can, or you say something awful to yourself. You might retort, “My belly isdisgusting!” or, “I’m hopeless! I will ALWAYS be ugly.” I think that you can relate to this. I also suspect that you make yourself wrong for not having a perfect body and not having the “will power” to change it.  After working as a body image coach with hundreds of clients, I know that negative self-talk keeps us stuck forever. Most people stay stuck in a painful story and need real tools to help them move forward. Overeating and dieting are all symptoms of a bigger problem: self-abuse. Changing specific daily actions from self-abuse to self-empowerment brings freedom.

Are you currently looking for a partner to create a loving and passionate relationship with? Or are you in a relationship and want to take it to a place today like when you first fell in love?

There are some key principles of thriving relationships that will help you choose the best person to be your next partner and begin your new relationship on a solid foundation from square one. If you are already in a relationship, these principles are also core for creating and maintaining a perfect partnership. Having a loving and thriving relationship does not happen miraculously on its own, instead you need to proactively take the steps to control the reigns. It’s time to learn how to start 2012 ready for love, each and every day.

These issues and so many more will be covered at this workshop.

You ARE worth the time…Details are all here. See you soon!

Jumpstart Your New Year’s Resolutions

10 Secrets to a Body You Love and the Relationship of Your Dreams

When?

Thursday December 8th, 2011

6:30 pm to 9:00 pm

As a body image coach and mentor, the subject of weight is pretty common among my students–some are overweight, some are underweight, and some are struggling with their weight – even if it’s perfect (as far as the numbers are concerned).  There’s an irony, huh? That there could be a “perfect” weight anywhere in our society. The truth is that we are fed lies upon lies about “perfect” body image and perfect weight, and we eat them and STARVE on the inside while growing larger and larger on the outside.

What comes with the excess weight is often a myriad of challenging health issues. I don’t need to list what they are – many of you are probably dealing with them as you read this.  And so, we treat the illnesses.  We take cholesterol medicine and insulin and blood pressure medicine – not to mention what all of this does to our spirits, our emotions, and confidence and our self-esteem.  Yes, food addiction and excess weight are the soil from which grows much heartache.

The following story once happened to a dear client of mine and I am sharing it to demonstrate how important it is to take care of yourself to avoid situations like this. As we all know, addiction is a family disease, and watching my client, heal and lead her family into a different kind of life has been an enormous privilege.  I’ve watched her learn self-love and make BIG changes and TOUGH choices.  I’ve watched her struggle to set boundaries and stop taking care of everyone around her – but not herself.

One issue her family has dealt with is diabetes and heart disease, and her husband has faced the possibility of losing one of his legs at the very young age of forty-nine.  The family had been put on a roller coaster of insanity – moving from healthcare team to healthcare team and told that the only option was a radical and invasive arterial bypass on his leg.  Although they had great misgivings, her husband was prepared to go forward with the operation, and after five weeks of preparations, literally the day before the surgery was to take place, his surgeon decided that the risk factors were simply too great to go forward.

In shock and disbelief, my client called me at home and said, “Laura, they literally told him to lose weight and then basically shoved him out the door.”

Wow.  That is, unfortunately, a snapshot of what often happens in the medical field and too many of us have similar stories.  Many, many times, there is simply a gap – a disconnect – between the obvious implications of weight on everyday health, and the reality of connecting the self-care and well being as a curative path to ending obesity.  Too often we forget that not everything can be fixed. It is up to our everyday decisions to keep us healthy.

This is a message that I have carried for over two decades, and one that gratefully, finally is becoming embraced more and more.  In fact, it is more than a passion to me – it is a mission.  And it is one that I am blessed to share with client after client, and ever-growing audiences at seminars and teleclasses.

The most basic tenet of the TRUTH about weight loss is this:  One cannot hate their body AND simultaneously create healthy change. These two things simply cannot coexist. Forget the “perfect” body image for healthy weight. For permanent, healthy change to occur, it must be based in self-love and self-care.  A person who is able to embrace that they are perfect and beautiful – and to discover a life of self-love and self-care would naturally find themselves empowered to create healthier choices with food and a life of movement and exercise.  It’s that simple.  Weight loss is an inside job.

As my client and her husband discovered, the medical world may shove you out the door into some phantom abyss and disconnect between self-love and health – but there are many of us around to help you breath deeply and to build a bridge or two.  Join the OnePinky online community that will give you the tools to heal the disconnects in your own life.  Because the bottom line is this – your body is your HOME.  It is where your soul lives from birth until death.

And like it or not, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all recovery to obesity and food addiction. However, there ARE proven systems and exercises to help you discover and build your own path to health, self-esteem, self-love, self-care and a beautiful, wonderful life without an uncrossable disconnect between your body and your soul.

Body Image Mastery Coach Laura Fenamore is on a mission, guiding women around the world to love what they see in the mirror, one pinky at a time. She teaches women how to unlock the secrets to healthy weight and start loving their lives as soon as possible.

Her popular Body Image Mastery program is celebrated by hundreds of women who have lost weight, reclaimed self-esteem, and started bold, happy lives thanks to Laura and her proven programs.

Having overcome her own battles with addiction, obesity, and eating disorders, Laura released over 100 pounds 24 years ago, beginning a journey to guide other women to live more joyous, balanced lives. She is the author of the forthcoming book Weightless: a Body Image Revolution and a frequent contributor to local and national media, including First for Women, Ladies Home Journal, the Dr. Pat Show and blog contributor on Betty Confidential and Daily Love. Laura believes that self love and care are where the transformation begins. Learn more about her programs, invite her to speak on a program or at a conference, or place pre-orders for her book today at OnePinky.com.

Sure, it’s great that Kirstie Alley lost weight… again. But how many times do we have to hear about her gaining weight, losing it, just to regain it and lose it again!

As People magazine reported, she tweeted, “NO surgery, NO flippin lasers, NO barfing, NO starving…Jeez…my products, organic food, dance.”

However, this isn’t as healthy as it seems. Yes, Dancing With the Stars jump kicked her into losing weight and she claims to continue to dance. But for how long? US Weekly reports that she “relies on appetite-suppressing drinks to stick to a healthy diet.” Using a “liquid” diet sounds like a fad diet to me! Is it always about the lose weight fast diets with celebrities?

Did you know that 95 -98% of dieters regain all of their weight back within 5 years?!

I’ve been in those shoes; I didn’t always have such a good handle on my body and my life either. I was a binge eater; I used eat out of garbage pails, and I was addicted to diet pills.  I didn’t have a healthy body image, fat or thin. (It had nothing to do with what I weighed. Keep reading.)

And when I finally decided to do something about it, I didn’t instantly land on the secret I’m about to share with you today. Instead, I fought and battled and bled my way through the fad fiasco that is our “Weight Loss Industry.”

I too looked for the lose weight fast diets. I used to scour the bookshelves, supermarkets, and late-night infomercials day after day to find my next weight loss fix. I wanted something that would work instantly and make it all better. Because I hated my life as an overweight person.

But you know what? The instant fix doesn’t exist. True, permanent weight loss will require more than a week’s starvation ritual or some “energy pill” or “liquid” diet.

How do I know this? Because twenty four years ago I lost 100 pounds. And guess what? I hated my life as a skinny person too.

It wasn’t until I approached my weight loss from the inside out with a healthy body image that I was able to transform, not only into a permanently thin person, but into a happy person. And that is really the point, isn’t it?

So now I want to ask you to be straight with me. Would you say that you fall into any of the following categories?

• You followed a diet and had results, but then couldn’t keep the weight off once you went back to “eating normally.”

• You’re successfully at your weight goal now, but you fear the pounds will creep back on the minute you let down your guard.

• You’ve never seen results, no matter what you’ve tried, and you’re terrified that it just won’t ever happen for you.

I’ll be the first one to say it: DIETING SUCKS!

So let’s stop focusing on dieting (especially those lose weight fast diets) and start looking at how to really transform our bodies.

Because the truth is:

Permanent weight loss has nothing to do with diet and exercise. 

Yes, I understand this statement flies in the face of everything you’ve read or heard in your search for weight loss, but that is for one reason, and one alone:

The weight loss business is a $61 BILLION industry – in the United States alone.

They get to “cha-ching” that little cash register of theirs every time they tell you, “Just follow this one diet,” or “This tea or pill will shed those pounds.”

And how many times have we heard about the miraculous workout that will melt the inches off your waist in ten minutes flat.

So what you’ve heard about weight loss is what works…not for losing weight, but for making money on people who want to lose weight.

Now I’m not saying that you can’t lose a lot of weight with diet and exercise. What I am saying is that you are virtually guaranteed to gain it all back, and possibly more, unless YOU take control for permanent weight loss!

Begin Building a Healthy Body Image Today!

You are invited all to take action today so that a year from now you look back with pride rather than with pain.

The Body Image Mastery Pinky Program immerses you deeply in learning the techniques that will help you attain — and maintain — a healthy body image and a healthy weight. Before you dive into the Body Image Mastery coursework, you’ll have the opportunity to talk with Laura on the telephone about OnePinky, your goals, and how to get there.

If you’re dedicated to changing your life, what better time to start than now?

If not now, when?  Email me here to set up a time to talk.

Class takes place at 5pm PT/8pm ET on the following dates:

October 4, 11, 18, 25
November 1, 8, 15, 22, 29
December 6, 13, 20

I wish I could get a hold of many of these celebrities who parade themselves out in public reinforcing the diet/binge cycle. I have nothing against Kirstie Alley at all, in fact I thought her show “Fat Actress” was hilarious! I have compassion for her and pray that this times around she deals with the issues that cause her to binge and starve so that her making the news has nothing to with her body size, rather how she contributes to the planet in one form or another.

What’s more painful than chronic physical pain?

The pain that lives inside of us, that’s what. Can you imagine being 100 pounds overweight and living with all of the agony that goes along with that? The inability to buy a dress or the fear goes with flying on an airplane? Now, can you imagine losing that weight and still coming up short? Still feeling deep inside that you are not good enough? Never believing for more than a few moments at a time, that you are beautiful and valuable?

Those are the every-day feelings that attach themselves to thousands and thousands of people who suffer from eating disorders – even after they “recover”. Even after they lose the weight, the pain inside continues. We fill the overweight person with Cinderella dreams of becoming a swan, after feeling like the ugly duckling for so many years. No matter how much we try to repair what’s on the outside, losing the weight doesn’t always heal a broken body image.

Body image is how we see ourselves from the inside out. Interestingly, there are very few of us who don’t have a distortion in our “internal mirror.” Like the reflections in a fun house, our image is out of wack. Obese people often live in eternal (and deadly) denial, and many times, thin people harm themselves through starvation, compulsive exercise and purging. And there’s no easy fix to any of this. There’s no exiting the fun house with a few laughs at the experience. The ride goes on and on.

The simple truth is that getting off that wheel starts with what we eat, how we live, and how we feel. The more we can simply surrender our love affair with self-criticism, the more room we have to learn self-care and self-esteem. And learn it and learn it and learn it some more.

After a lifetime of taunts, teases and put downs from everywhere we look (the media, the magazine covers and the world at large), we now have to learn a whole new way to love ourselves no matter what. AND forgive ourselves for the hatred to begin with!

We can’t love ourselves and chastise at the same time. It’s got to be the whole shebang if we’re really going to change. And why not? Change is all around us. The world keeps revolving and WE need to move with it. Human beings are remarkable. We can survive. We have survived the most harmful of things, so why not tackle the pain inside of us?

We can come out of the other side of self-hatred and discover an experience as beautiful and magnificent as falling in love. We can LEARN to love our selves and our lives.

Step 1. Start your day with a prayer to remember that you are powerful and precious. On your knees, ask the power around you to remind you to love yourself today. No matter what. Let every negative comment or thought simply float away unjudged. If you want peace, you must give up the idea of conflict entirely and all the time. This is now your new goal.

Step 2. Take the TIME to do loving things. How do you build self-esteem? You DO esteemable things. Let that materialize as loving actions toward YOU today. We’re talking about basics here. Rest, downtime, company, healthy food and movement. Those are the basics. How long since your day revolved around those things? Too long, I bet.

Step 3. Love is a two-way street. So treat yourself to time with those who LOVE YOU. Recreate your childhood (whether yours was happy or not) and run, skip, jump, climb and play with those you love deeply.

The simple truth is that YOU have the right to be honored and comforted, fulfilled and LOVED today – from the inside and the outside.

If you would like to begin transforming your relationship with your body and on practice how to overcome your pain, please join me and a lovely group of women THIS Thursday for a 4 week tele-class – “Enjoying the summer diet free”. www.summerdietfree.com

I would LOVE to have you there!!

I was a compulsive eater out of my mother’s womb. The youngest of eight children in an abusive home, and I used food to feel safe. I overate every day, hated myself for it, and yet could not stop.

I started out addicted to food, and by my teenage years I was addicted to alcohol and drugs as well. By age 24, I was designing my ending and talked regularly about taking my life. I was a fat, depressed drunk who hated herself.

Self-hatred controlled my life for a long time. I hated myself and didn’t think there was a way out of my pain, fat or thin. After my difficult childhood, I moved from New York to California. I was in college in San Francisco, enjoying school for the first time but still not loving my body or myself. I had turned to bulimia and laxatives in desperation to control my weight.

In the fall of 1987, I went to my first Overeater’s Anonymous meeting because I knew my primary addiction was food. The first meeting I attended was in a church on 19th Avenue in the Sunset District of San Francisco. I can still see the room clearly – a large, open, spacious room with chairs placed in a circle. What I loved about that meeting was the love you felt from the moment you walked in the door. We humans have an amazing capacity to heal, to transform, and to become our best selves, all the while loving and holding and supporting one another through the darkness into the light.

Although I had taken the hugely important step of wanting to get well and joining OA to do so, I really was not ready or willing to take my life back and turn things around … not yet. Though I continued to go to meetings, my pain was obedient to the addiction, and I still felt defective. Even though by this point I had begun to wake up and see my pain more clearly, I was still also living in my old world of self-abuse. I had recognized my self-harming behavior and had been in Overeaters Anonymous for months, but my patterns were the same.

After meetings, I would go straight to the grocery store and buy all the carbohydrates in sight – chips, breads, and anything to dip them in. Then I would binge my brains out in the car, thinking, “Well, I’m not ready yet and I am doing the best I can right now.” Part of me was seeking something better, and the other part was desperate; one part wanted to live, and the other did not, but still I hung on to the belief that something might change.

Then came the day when I heard four words that rocked my world forever. It was February, 1988. My latest New Year’s resolution to heal had died, and I was using food like crazy and drinking to numb my pain. There was a daylong OA conference, and as disappointed as I was in myself yet again, I knew I needed to go.

The very first speaker, a woman who was not obese, had a story similar to mine – a lifetime of yo-yo diets and self-hate. She talked about feeling desperate and determined at the same time, of living her life in two parts: the one who knew there was more, and the one who felt defeated. She talked about all of her excuses and stories and lies and self-betrayals, and how they were digging her grave deeper. She, like me, had wanted out of the quicksand, and could never find a hand or a rod or anything to pull her out.

Then, one day in a meeting, she had heard a woman share a similar story of attempts to save herself until her life was changed by four words. Those words would forever change the life of this woman and, as soon as she shared them, they changed mine too. “If not now, when?”

When she shared those words, I burst into tears and experienced an actual physical release in my body, an earthquake in my cells. My world was literally rocked and my life forever changed. Just then, I got it.

If not now, when?

What was I waiting for? As I cried, I thought, “how long am I going to play this game of dieting and cheating, dieting and lying to myself? How long will I walk this earth feeling so ashamed of myself? How much longer will I allow myself to hope for death, and fantasize about taking my life?”

If not now, when? Until I heard this, I had been sitting alone in a conference room full of people, feeling fat, isolated, stupid, useless, and helpless. The words took me home, home to who I was. Home to the person who was NOT defective, who was capable of healing and changing her story. It all flooded in like a tidal wave as I sat there, weeping in pain and joy.

I knew then that the part of me that wanted to die was right in a way: some things would have to die in order for me to live. This was my life, and I was taking my power back. I danced my way through the rest of the day’s conference, feeling myself slowly crossing over from shame into glory. After this angel’s talk shifted the tectonic plates of my soul, I was home.

We should never underestimate the incredible power that sharing and reaching out has to change lives. I believe so much in this truth that I am now a body image and weight loss coach and have my own practice, @OnePinky.

When I set out to create OnePinky, it was clear to me that I wanted to create a movement – a revolution. My interest was and still is overturning the obesity epidemic, the one I nearly succumbed to, by changing how we women see our bodies. It’s my intention to wake up women who hesitate to look at the reflection in the mirror or the number on the scale, just the way these women woke me up from my denial. I want to wake them up to the truth that saved my life – self-love is the ultimate healer.

The following years have not been without their setbacks; the road to self-love and acceptance is not a purely easy one, but the gift of words this woman gave me has sustained me through all the ups and downs. If not now, when? I learned from her that there is always another chance, there is always the now in which anything can happen, anything can change, anything is possible.

If not now, when?

TODAY, I am beginning a 4 week tele-class called “enjoying the summer diet free”.  If my story resonates with you, please join my class so that you can start moving along the path to self-love.  If you can’t start class today, I am offering another class beginning July 21^st.  I would love you to be a part of it!

www.summerdietfree.com

We all have the freedom to choose, and making up excuses is a choice too.

Someone Once Said:
“An excuse is worse than a lie, for an excuse is a lie, guarded.”

We human beings make excuses all the time.  We talk about what we want to change and make a million and one excuses as to why we cannot get what we want.  If someone says to me, “I want to start exercising,” and then proceeds to tell me 5 reasons why they can’t, one being that they cannot afford a gym,  I know that is just an excuse.  While it may be true that they may not be able to work out like an athlete, some activity is better than nothing. If the person is able bodied, they can walk or hike and that is free.

As a coach, I can recognize when people show up with a bag full of excuses as to why they are a “special case” and incapable of changing.  Heck, I am not excuse free. However, I can recognize when I am lying to myself and justifying my reason with an excuse. I am after all human. While I am not perfect, I am conscious and aware of my excuses.

Being awake is a gift and being aware of your excuses and then letting them go is something that you can learn to do.

The most popular excuse these days is, “I am too busy to do that.” And it is true, we are all busier. However, we do make time for those things we want to do. Transformation requires new routines and most people are resistant to that. It is easier to justify it with an excuse.

There are 5 main reasons that we make excuses:

1. We make excuses because we do not want to face the truth.

2. We make excuses because we do not want to take responsibility.

3. We make excuses because it is easier to complain and stay a victim.

4. We make excuses because we are afraid of the unknown.

5. We make excuses because sometimes having our heads in the sand is easier.

But is it really?

Having our heads in the sand is like living a life with blinders on and not being able to see the wonderful things that come our way. We often spend so much time being afraid or living in the dark that the joys of a life of self love and honest realization seem to hard to get to.  It is so much easier to just make up and excuse of why it can’t be. Can you see how there is not much room to change when one lives in the land of excuses rather than the land of possibility? One way of being is liberating and the other very constricting.  However, you can choose to make the change and stick to it.  You can choose the land of possibility.  That is the first step.

In honor of July 4th and independence day, I want to offer you the opportunity to live a life that is liberating and free rather than bogged down by excuses and fear.

I am offering two 4 week tele-classes this summer that will give you the tools you need to stop using excuses and begin a path of peace where losing weight and achieving self love is possible.  Please check it out, no excuses, sign up! www.summerdietfree.com.  I welcome it.

Love is my favorite word of all.

I love LOVE!

No matter how challenging my life has been, I have always leaned into the love and support of others. I believe that love is a universal truth and the most powerful tool in overcoming any type of obstacle. For me, love is the answer.

When I was a young teen, in Jr. High School, I had a poster on my wall, which read, “Love is the Answer”. I loved that poster so much and it was different shades of PINK! I now see that as the universe’s way of showing me back then, that the message of Love and the color Pink would be a huge part of my life down the road.

Although I grew up in foster homes and suffered abuse, I remember truly believing that love would save me. I believed in that poster. It gave me hope and held me up.

Learning to find love within and GIVE that love to myself was what made it possible for me to grow into a healthy person. I was able to find my true self, feel grounded, and in turn, share my love with others.

So if love is the answer, then what is the question? With summer beginning this week (and I LOVE summer), it’s the perfect time to take a moment, reflect and ask; “how much love do you give to yourself?”

This is the number one question and one that is hard for many of us to face. Although it sounds simple that we should love ourselves, many times it is the last thing we do. We put other people first or other things first and we don’t take our self-love into consideration. With a new season beginning, we can create an opportunity for ourselves, an opportunity to achieve a healthy body image through practicing self-love.

Here are three simple steps to begin to show yourself some love this summer:

1. Embrace the desire for continuous self- improvement – work on removing the layers of the proverbial onion so that you feel happier and freer about who you are.

2. Planning is Power. Know what you are getting yourself into before you go to a summer party. Practice responsibility with food and alcohol during the season by planning ahead.

3. Take complete and absolute responsibility for your circumstances and your outcomes. You are where you are today because of choices you have made in the past, and you now have the power to make choices that will serve you better. Start with one small step each month and by next summer, your life will be transformed.

We are all loving and although some of us may have a harder time accessing that love, we each have the power to give and receive it.

Remember, love is the answer.

I invite you to stop and reflect on what love means to you. How to you define it and what are some of the ways that you give love to yourself? Please comment here and join me at www.onepinky.com