Hey Leah and Pinky’s!
I came across this gorgeous piece that one of my Pinky’s wrote about her experience working through this course….and I had to share it with the world.
It goes like this….
“i have been afraid all of my life.
afraid of failing. afraid of succeeding. afraid of doing too much and not doing enough. afraid of being ugly. afraid of being great. afraid that what i said would be misunderstood – afraid that if i didnt speak i would disappear. i have been afraid to love and desperately in fear of not being lovable. i have wanted to evaporate into the cool wind of indifference and also to be the storm of beligerence that finally set the record straight. i have wanted to live. i have feared dying. i am too fat. i am too thin. i am not smart enough and yet i understand everything. i am too old, i am too young. my heart is broken. there is nothing left. then – i am exhilirated – invigorated – refreshed – ALIVE! There is wind enough for every sail – joy enough for every heart. i am gifted, blessed, the most fortunate girl alive. i am fat. i must be thinner. my arms are too strong……. though i hold one hundred children, they do not lay well against the tireless strain of my skin tight blouse. make me thinner god. run. diet. exercise. fast. give me something – now – anything – to take away this extra bit of me i do not need – this roundness – this flesh. can i have another cookie – maybe ten? i don’t drink i don’t smoke i don’t……….give me sugar give me love give me the light light light is what i need.
these are my thoughts when i am not tapped into the source. when i am not focused on what i am committed to. when i have mistaken myself for something other than the incredible miracle that is my very being. she is me – and yet she is very different than the confident, grateful woman whom i have come to know as myself. it is my tininess. my little fearful self that is a child. that needs a kiss. a hand to hold. one big hug that wraps eternity around me until i am big again. until i can feel the heat that is my heart – beating – drawing me closer to my greatness – letting me be – without the judgement. setting me free.
i chose not to live inside the tiny places of despair where once i made my home. that is no longer me – laying there beside melancholy – victimized by my own shame, with fists full of evidence against the world. i am an opening. a soft place of becoming that is kind and loving and curious. i am willing ever willing to grow and certain that growth will come. i am teachable. i welcome grace.
in my opening – through the small cracks of light that filter around those parts of me that are frightened – lessons come. lessons and teachers and friends and gifts, like so many presents bundled up before me. they come mostly as woman – in all shapes and sizes and socio-economic happenstance. but come they do when i am looking. so, i found laura. and through laura, onepinky. and through onepinky – a sisterhood of triumph – a portal to freedom.
i have taken all the classes I could take. i have read the books. i have attended the seminar and sang the song – chanted the chant and drank the herbs. and then this. a simple gesture. one woman to another – a hand. an ear. some laughter echoed.
to tell you how there is more sunniness in the sun or more green in the forest because i am looking out from within instead of the other way around is to only scratch the surface. you cannot name this. it is a secret. a secret that starts inside like a wee hope – a what if it works? – a prayer. and then, because you trusted it when someone said you could and because you did it when she said you deserve to and because that part of you that is inside – that was always a champion – before even time – knows it, you do. you begin to heal. you begin to shine. you begin to share. then, there is the unspeakable brilliance of letting something go that you never quite knew you were holding onto and, suddenly, your hands are empty – your arms are open – and you are no longer pushing away the great depth of love that is your essence – your light – your tiny, brilliant and beautiful “me” at last in celebration. your gift.
i cannot imagine how to say this any other way. take the course that is yours – here before you – now. be willing to let it work for you. be willing to make it work for you. be willing to be that part of you that knows there is a fight left – that knows there is something worth fighting for – that part of you that is a sister – a friend – someone’s love. you will experience transformation. you will heal. there are too many words to hide it and not enough to reveal – the experience that only you will have when you say “yes” to this door that is opening in front of you. you made it appear. now, lift your head and walk in – we are waiting for you. you are not alone. come.”
This makes my heart sing and my eyes cry every time I read it.
I love it and I am grateful for the beauty of these words…and they must be shared.
Drink them up. And thank you to my Pinky who shares her heart and soul. What a gift to us all.
XO, Laura
Tags:
big hug,
diet,
fear,
flesh,
god,
gorgeous piece,
heart,
indifference,
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Leah,
Miracle,
pinky,
roundness,
tight blouse
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Laura Fenamore, CPCC is a gifted Body Image Mastery Mentor and a celebrated speaker, lecturer and teacher to thousands of people worldwide. 
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"How many people do you know who have lost 100 lbs? How many of those people have kept it off for over 21 years and will keep it off FOREVER? Laura Fenamore has and she’ll show you how you can make permanent changes from the inside out. She is 100% committed to helping people who struggle with weight and body images issues and her 12-week program works!"
