Welcome to OnePinky,  a safe place for women who are looking for healthy weight through healthy body image.

For the remainder of 2010, I would like to ask you all to put your inner perfectionist to sleep. Just have her go take a long nap. :).

Perfection hurts. Accepting, even embracing our imperfection heals. In my life, I say imperfection is the new black.

Our bodies are something that many of us want to vilify. How they look and how they function is often not good enough. In this last month of 2010, I declare it is time to end the war, with our body and our mind.

How can any of us create permanent change with our bodies when we are at war with them?

We are capable of transforming at any age and at any size.

The issues are in our tissues, and if you do the inner work, your body will take care of itself, and you will be inspired to make peace with food and the scale.

Our path to self discovery is a journey in patience, and what we offer here at OnePinky.com is a process, not a pill.

Happiness and Joy are a choice, and YOU CAN HAVE THEM all the time.

I want to share my work with women who are ready for permanent change, for a new story, a new conversation.

I want to live in a world where women’s health is a huge priority and that when women look at themselves in the mirror they see beauty at all sizes.

The old story is go on a diet, feel deprived, hate the process, go off the diet and then hate yourself for not having will power and strength.

The new story, the new practice is to feel the feelings that got you to this place, process them and then release them.

In this new story, transformation can occur effortlessly.

Your body is a healing machine and will take care of itself. Reduce your self criticism and see what happens.

What would your life be like if you said NO to New Year’s resolutions this year and said YES to New year’s Intentions?

Ask yourself:

What do I see that I can change in my self care in 2011 that can be fun rather than a drag?

Please take out a pen and paper and in this moment, write down the most significant thing you want in your life this new year that, something that relates to self love and self care.

For example, I intend to meditate 3x’s a week for 5 minutes in 2011. This could be anything from get a new calendar program to plan my meditation times or getting a chime timer I love to hear that inspires me to want to meditate every day. I release this intention to the Universe with Love.

Now say your intention out loud five times. Say out loud, Dear Universe, show me the path to make this is a reality.

Pick the same day every month and check in with your intention and see how you are progressing. Keep doing this until you have reached this intention. I know you will create it if you keep up this practice. The key is in doing it with love and doing it consistently.

May the Universe grant you and your loved ones your hearts’ desires this last month of 2010 and into 2011.

May you BE LOVE and feel INNER PEACE each moment.

And like wise Leah came to see in her blog post at www.NoDietingAllowed.com, “she has arrived”.

Those of us who choose to be awake and feeling our feelings through this adventure called life “have arrived as well”.

Some OnePinky.com wisdom

Body Image Mastery is about health, physically, emotional and spiritual health are what I am after for all women.

You get to have it all.

Consider putting your perfectionist to a long sleep starting right now.

There is no thing as perfection. Imperfect  is perfect.  Imperfection is the new black. (A nice new outfit for 2010)

Accept you as you are now.

How can you change something you are at war with?

If your mind collapses that last statement as a sign of resignation…or your mind says that accepting yourself means that you cannot change, it is just not true.

You are changing in every moment and are capable of bigger changes at any age and any size.

The issues are in our tissues and if you do the inner work, your body will take care of itself and you will feel more inspired to be in balance with food and the scale.

Again, how can you change your body when you are at war with it?

Our differences are an opportunity to celebrate who we are…we are different precisely in order to realize our needs of one another.

Nothing is too much trouble for LOVE.

Our journey of self discovery is a journey in patience and what we offer here at OnePinky.com is a process, not a pill.

Happiness and Joy are a choice and they do require some effort at times. I welcome the effort for Happy, Joyful and Free.

What do I know for sure?

That I love people, all people. I am looking to attract more women to my work who are ready for permanent change, for a new story, a new conversation. I want to live in a world where women’s health is a huge priority and that when women look at themselves in the mirror they see beauty at all sizes.

The old story is go on a diet, feel deprived, hate the process and go off the diet and then hate yourself for not having will power and strength.

The new story, the new practice is to feel the feelings that got you to this place, process them and in release them. I promise you change will occur effortlessly.

Your body is a healing machine and will take care of itself. Reduce your mind space in terms of self criticism and see what happens.

What would your life be like if you said NO to New Year’s resolutions this year and said YES to New year’s Intentions?

Ask yourself this question.

What is my most important, significant intention for 2010?

Please take out a pen and paper and in this moment, write down the most significant thing you want to draw into your life this new year and say it out loud five times.

I intend to ___________________ in 2010 and I release this to the Universe with Love.

Universe, show me the path to get there.

Now pick a day, the same day every month and check in with your intention and see how you are progressing. Keep doing this until you have reached this intention. I know you will get there if you keep this practice alive every month, sooner than you think.

Affirm:

I have a divine right to be me, exactly as I am because I am made in the image and likeness of God. I am certain that deep within me there is a knower that knows.  I trust that I am created perfectly as I am.  This holiday season I am authentic, loving and generous because THAT is who I am!

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you all.

May the Universe grant you all your heart’s desires in 2010.

2010 can be your year of letting go, releasing and living WHO you are.

I bless you all with the courage to be YOU.

May you BE LOVE and feel INNER PEACE in every moment.

I decree that 2010 shall be your best year ever.

I love you, that too I know for sure,  XO

Laura

Oh how I can relate to having too much to write about and feeling overwhelmed by it. When those moments happen, I just breathe and ask for guidance. Sounds like yours came in the form of your darling husband Leigh. Thank Leigh from me.

I have so much to write about.

And I have so much to share about…and I will get to it all or get to whatever needs to come out right now.

The only thing that I truly want to say today comes in the form of some questions.

1.)                     What are you feeling right now? (i.e., happy, sad, curious, depressed)

2.)                     How are you feeling right this moment about your body?

3.)                     Describe your experience of looking at your reflection as it if were happening right now. (include observations, surprises, feelings, judgments, and impressions)

4.)                     Whose voice did you hear while doing this exercise? Yours or someone else’s? And if not yours, then whose voice?

5.)                     What self judgments are you willing to release?

6.)                     What self judgments do you want to hold onto?

7.)                     What was the most challenging part of this exercise for you?

8.)                     Are you willing to practice this once a week for 30 minutes and if not, why not?

9.)                     What are you afraid might happen?

10.)                  What great things do you believe can come of your practicing this weekly?

I recommend you repeat this exercise at least once a week for the duration of the next 3 months and watch your relationship to your body change dramatically.

You and your body are worth the 30 minutes you will put aside every week to practice this.

Here is a clue, there is no perfect way to do this. The process is for more releasing.

Enjoy it.

You are Loved, XO

Laura

Love reading about your progress, realizations with Mum, your feeling your feelings and owning your power and your age!

Speaking of owning her power and her age, OnePinky member Kathleen has some great wisdom to share with us all.

Here it goes, enjoy!

Today I’d like to write about commitment and how it can reward us at unexpected times.  You may recall OnePinky Kathleen, who spent the day in September as a caddie at Pebble Beach.  She has maintained an 80 pound weight loss for 4 years now.  One of the things Kathleen loves to do is swim.  As a child, she was never on a swim team but she took it up in 1980 when she was 28.  She always does the same swim, 1 mile freestyle, because she loves giving it her best effort for such a precise distance.  Over the years, she has kept a journal of her swim times and as you can imagine, her times in the 80’s were her fastest.  In fact, she completely gave up swimming from 1989 until 2001 before the pool beckoned her back.  And while the joy of swimming had returned for Kathleen, her swimming times had not.  Her best time for a mile in the 80’s was 27:45.  Today on a good day, she was lucky to break 32 minutes.  In fact, that day in 2001 when she did her first mile in years, it took her 47 minutes.   Kathleen was convinced that she could never come close to her previous swim times.  But that really wasn’t the point.  The point was, that she had rediscovered something that she loved doing which was also very good for her body, mind, and soul.  So her swim times became secondary.  Then one day, she noticed her times started to drop.  Just a little, and then a little more. Kathleen told me that she has actually said to herself many times, “I will NEVER break the 30 minute mark.”

But a funny thing happened this past Monday….

Stay tuned to tomorrow.

XO, Laura

Just notice without fueling the feelings is something I say alot to my groups of students.

Just notice.

Observe your feelings and feel them, knowing they are not you and you are not them.

They come and they go.

I have feelings, I am not my feelings.

I had some strong feelings come up this weekend when every time I logged onto the community site, no one was there. UUUUMMM!

I felt fear, frustration, confusion, overwhelm and then CALM.

All these feelings over a tool…that some people may or may not choose to use…it is all good.

I do want more than anything to provide the best possible tools for women in this community and how that will look, the universe will reveal. As long as I do not get attached to the outcome and what I think is right.

The universe has a way bigger plan that I could have.

Learning, living and loving and letting go…words to live by…

XO, Laura

Happy over the half way point!

Love your claiming your success. RIGHT ON!

So proud of you!

OK, I am so moved and touched by some of these letters to Glamour, I have to put aside my post today and share what India had to say.

WHOOOAAAA, She is amazing, Ken?  Yes in Hebrew…In honor of Leanne who shared her heart out on our Thursday call. She is moving through some major stuff and leaping off of cliffs. I am so proud of her as I am of you.

O.K.

India’s letter to Glamour and more are coming.

“Dear Editor,

When you published your photo of a “real” woman, I jumped at the chance to support your decision to show women of all shapes and sizes! And when you said the word “REVOLUTION”, I knew that I had to write to you! I am a member of One Pinky — Body Image Revolution, the brainchild and creation of Laura Fenamore, a woman with a mission and commitment to empower ALL WOMEN in loving who they are, no matter how they look on the outside. I am a 54 year-old woman that has battled with self-esteem issues and yo-yo dieting my entire life. Not until I met Laura did I realize that it has NOTHING to do with weight or eating, but it has EVERYTHING to do with LOVING YOURSELF from the inside out. Laura’s One Pinky has given me the tools and support to take control of my life and to feel REALLY GOOD about who I truly am!

I wrote in my blog on our site [OnePinky.com], something that pretty much sums up my feelings about Laura and what she is trying to accomplish…

“Who is Laura to us? Have you ever visited an area that you were unfamiliar with? A foreign country, perhaps?

Of course you have. And in preparation for your visit, you probably Goggled hotels or sites or talked with other people about what you might want to see or do. Maybe you even purchased a book to try to learn the language.

And then you go… it’s interesting, a little scary, but all in all, you get around okay and see some cool stuff.

Then you come home and someone says, “Did you see such & such? or Did you eat THERE? or I hope you went to that spot!” and suddenly your trip seems to have missed the mark and you feel a bit discouraged or at least miffed that you missed out on something that could really have helped you to have the trip of a lifetime.

My point is, Laura has been on that journey. She has figured out so much of it. She has marked the pitfalls. She has learned the ins and outs and knows where the locals eat! And she revisits it often and stays on top of it and relishes others experiences and learns from them as well. The journey is into the world of Loving Yourself. It’s a world that we thought we knew (have you been to Barnes & Noble lately?) but it’s a journey that we can be happier and more successful with if we have…

A TOUR GUIDE!

From now on I’ll picture Laura with a name tag that says, “Hello, I’m Laura” and giggle to myself when I imagine her saying, “We’re walking, we’re walking… No flash photography please.” Because until now, I thought I really had a handle on this foreign country business… but now I know that I did need an interpreter and a guide to really have a wonderful, creative experience!”

If you want a pioneer for your Revolution, Laura is someone that you need to know!

Most Sincerely Yours,

India Redman

Cerro, New Mexico”

To send your email, go to www.glamour.com, Contact Us, and then “You Said it! Comments And Questions!” Just add your comments right into their format and off it goes..directly to them! I just sent mine and feel GREAT about putting something out there that might reach other women who are suffering.

email: letters@glamour.com

fax: 212-286-6922.

Leah, thank you for allowing me to use the blog to share this moving testament. India and so many of you have sent letters that speak from your heart. I am touched and honored.

Keep up your great work Leah. Your weight release, time management, Live Trading Account…all great work…

You are living your life full out, learning, leading (through your leadership) and letting go.

A winning combination.

Miss you gal, feels like forever since we spoke. :) We must do that soon.

XO, Laura

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

-Gail Devers

I so BELIEVE in you Leah!

I am so happy to see that you loved the movie….and that Julia’s delightful relationship mirrored you and Leigh.

A little Julia Child inside information which she made public was that she was a virgin until the age of 40 and married her hubby and they spent the rest of their lives making up for all the years she had been without. (if you catch my drift!). I am so happy that they were in love and the same goes for you and Leigh (tell him hello from me) my dear.

Living in the moment for me is listening to guidance as it comes in…

I was guided to share this article I wrote last year…and hope you get some value from it, even if you have read it.

As many of you know, Oprah Winfrey recently “came clean” about her forty-pound weight gain and admitted that she was embarrassed to be over two hundred pounds again.  I have so many feelings about this, but the strongest of all is camaraderie.

Our nation has now hit a point where MOST of us are overweight.  Isn’t that an overwhelming thought?  And even those of us who DO lose weight, like Oprah, will often “reclaim” those pounds and put them back on.  So the chances are far greater that Oprah is touching a lot of hearts right now – rather than letting us down.

I would like to say that I am one of the lucky ones – losing a hundred pounds twenty two years ago and still being a hundred pounds less two decades later.  But it isn’t luck – and don’t think I never reclaimed a pound or two.  Surely I have.  But what I have been blessed to know – and what Oprah Winfrey is just discovering and proclaiming – is that PERMANENT change MUST be based and grown in self-care and self-love.  There is NOTHING else that will offer you the inspiration, the tools, and the COURAGE to continue a different way of life.

Because that’s the other thing that I (and probably all of us) share with Oprah – a lot of people count on us.  We have what seems like an endless list of family, friends, colleagues, and sometimes even strangers who look to us for an endless list of things.  Add in the mundane reality of a job, a household, and laundry – well, it is not surprising that self-care is a SKILL that has to be taught and learned.  (Teaching those skills is, in fact, my life’s work.) Quite simply, weight loss means that you must put yourself FIRST on your list, and that isn’t instinctive to most of us.  But by doing that you will be empowered to do everything else, and serve everyone else, in your world.

I have some areas where I disagree with Oprah, though; for one thing, her embarrassment.  Don’t get me wrong, I understand what she means.  As a body image mentor, I hold the space for many, many clients who have shame around their weight – but I simply wish FOR Oprah that she could begin her journey of self-care and self-love RIGHT NOW – and that means loving herself 100% (no reservations) and owning that she is perfect right now, as she is.  Needing to release the weight again actually makes her MORE accessible to the MILLIONS of men and women who face that same challenge over and over in life.  Like I said, I often feel l was one of the lucky ones.

But you know what I know?  I know that it wasn’t luck.  I lost the weight, only to realize that I still hated my life.  Can you IMAGINE how awful that was?  I had been an overweight kid – then an overweight teen – then an overweight adult.  I ALWAYS believed that when I lost the weight, my life would change.  Newsflash!  I lost the weight and then I had to CHANGE my life. So I did.  That’s where the blessing was – I recognized it and started building a pathway to self-love and self-care – and I never stopped.

I truly believe that if this dialogue about self-care and what it really MEANS in our day-to-day lives becomes one-tenth as pervasive as the dialogue around shame and self-loathing around weight and dieting and body image – that one-tenth discussion will change the trajectory of obesity and low body image in our nation.

We have an opportunity here to create a different kind of conversation.  Will you help me?  Will you sit down with your overweight friends and tell them, “I love you and think you are perfect exactly as you are.”  And then just LISTEN to their responses about their body and their weight. You will be amazed.  I am grateful and humbled to be part of this discussion.  THAT is the part that I feel lucky about.

I believe in you gorgeous, beautiful, amazing Leah….You are amazing and I have complete belief in you and your process.  Learn, Love and Let Go…

XO,

Love you, Laura

A plug… to pass on….Would you like to feel the same way I do? Take my hand, come with me and learn to love what you see in the mirror every day. Sign up for my Body Image Mastery course and be one of the first people to join my new community here: http://www.bodyimagemastery.com/community.