Like a child’s board game, you will turn over many cards on this journey.  Some will say, “Take Aerobics Class,” or “Lose 5 Pounds,” others will sometimes say, “Take a Step Backward.”  But like a kid at the game table, “Take a Step Backward,” is NOT the end of the game — you just wait your turn to move forward again.

Every day of your life now becomes much more than a roll of the dice.  You are the master of your existence, embracing healthy body imagery and good health.  And you are the winner every single moment that you pick up the tools to be 100% fully ALIVE.

A Healthy Way To Lose Weight Starts Here

Begin by making sure that your toolkit is full of fresh, living food.  If you need recommendations on where to start, check out my nutrition facts. Add to it movement and companionship.  A good walk or a hike with a friend or a yoga class with your best buddy is literally worth its weight in gold.  Discover how wonderful you begin to feel when your movement is more than a thousand steps on the treadmill.

Schedule this “play time” as if your life depends on it – because the big secret is that it does.  Your treasure chest is not buried on a distant island; it is literally beating inside of you this very moment.  And make no mistake, your heart was meant to work every single day.  In the journey for healthy weight, movement is high on the list as one of the most important ingredients.

So, get moving today and embrace the one, beautiful you and this one beautiful day.

Celebrate it with healthy choices and a great beginning!  If you aren’t sure how to do that or you need to create a new relationship with yourself that includes, feel free to reach out to me at (415) 464-1234 or Laura@Onepinky.com for a few tips and heaps of encouragement and inspiration.

This is your one precious and only body and I know you can change whatever you want to change.

I was a compulsive eater out of my mother’s womb. The youngest of eight children in an abusive home, and I used food to feel safe. I overate every day, hated myself for it, and yet could not stop.

I started out addicted to food, and by my teenage years I was addicted to alcohol and drugs as well. By age 24, I was designing my ending and talked regularly about taking my life. I was a fat, depressed drunk who hated herself.

Self-hatred controlled my life for a long time. I hated myself and didn’t think there was a way out of my pain, fat or thin. After my difficult childhood, I moved from New York to California. I was in college in San Francisco, enjoying school for the first time but still not loving my body or myself. I had turned to bulimia and laxatives in desperation to control my weight.

In the fall of 1987, I went to my first Overeater’s Anonymous meeting because I knew my primary addiction was food. The first meeting I attended was in a church on 19th Avenue in the Sunset District of San Francisco. I can still see the room clearly – a large, open, spacious room with chairs placed in a circle. What I loved about that meeting was the love you felt from the moment you walked in the door. We humans have an amazing capacity to heal, to transform, and to become our best selves, all the while loving and holding and supporting one another through the darkness into the light.

Although I had taken the hugely important step of wanting to get well and joining OA to do so, I really was not ready or willing to take my life back and turn things around … not yet. Though I continued to go to meetings, my pain was obedient to the addiction, and I still felt defective. Even though by this point I had begun to wake up and see my pain more clearly, I was still also living in my old world of self-abuse. I had recognized my self-harming behavior and had been in Overeaters Anonymous for months, but my patterns were the same.

After meetings, I would go straight to the grocery store and buy all the carbohydrates in sight – chips, breads, and anything to dip them in. Then I would binge my brains out in the car, thinking, “Well, I’m not ready yet and I am doing the best I can right now.” Part of me was seeking something better, and the other part was desperate; one part wanted to live, and the other did not, but still I hung on to the belief that something might change.

Then came the day when I heard four words that rocked my world forever. It was February, 1988. My latest New Year’s resolution to heal had died, and I was using food like crazy and drinking to numb my pain. There was a daylong OA conference, and as disappointed as I was in myself yet again, I knew I needed to go.

The very first speaker, a woman who was not obese, had a story similar to mine – a lifetime of yo-yo diets and self-hate. She talked about feeling desperate and determined at the same time, of living her life in two parts: the one who knew there was more, and the one who felt defeated. She talked about all of her excuses and stories and lies and self-betrayals, and how they were digging her grave deeper. She, like me, had wanted out of the quicksand, and could never find a hand or a rod or anything to pull her out.

Then, one day in a meeting, she had heard a woman share a similar story of attempts to save herself until her life was changed by four words. Those words would forever change the life of this woman and, as soon as she shared them, they changed mine too. “If not now, when?”

When she shared those words, I burst into tears and experienced an actual physical release in my body, an earthquake in my cells. My world was literally rocked and my life forever changed. Just then, I got it.

If not now, when?

What was I waiting for? As I cried, I thought, “how long am I going to play this game of dieting and cheating, dieting and lying to myself? How long will I walk this earth feeling so ashamed of myself? How much longer will I allow myself to hope for death, and fantasize about taking my life?”

If not now, when? Until I heard this, I had been sitting alone in a conference room full of people, feeling fat, isolated, stupid, useless, and helpless. The words took me home, home to who I was. Home to the person who was NOT defective, who was capable of healing and changing her story. It all flooded in like a tidal wave as I sat there, weeping in pain and joy.

I knew then that the part of me that wanted to die was right in a way: some things would have to die in order for me to live. This was my life, and I was taking my power back. I danced my way through the rest of the day’s conference, feeling myself slowly crossing over from shame into glory. After this angel’s talk shifted the tectonic plates of my soul, I was home.

We should never underestimate the incredible power that sharing and reaching out has to change lives. I believe so much in this truth that I am now a body image and weight loss coach and have my own practice, @OnePinky.

When I set out to create OnePinky, it was clear to me that I wanted to create a movement – a revolution. My interest was and still is overturning the obesity epidemic, the one I nearly succumbed to, by changing how we women see our bodies. It’s my intention to wake up women who hesitate to look at the reflection in the mirror or the number on the scale, just the way these women woke me up from my denial. I want to wake them up to the truth that saved my life – self-love is the ultimate healer.

The following years have not been without their setbacks; the road to self-love and acceptance is not a purely easy one, but the gift of words this woman gave me has sustained me through all the ups and downs. If not now, when? I learned from her that there is always another chance, there is always the now in which anything can happen, anything can change, anything is possible.

If not now, when?

TODAY, I am beginning a 4 week tele-class called “enjoying the summer diet free”.  If my story resonates with you, please join my class so that you can start moving along the path to self-love.  If you can’t start class today, I am offering another class beginning July 21^st.  I would love you to be a part of it!

www.summerdietfree.com

Self-hatred is no fun and it ran me for a long time. I hated myself and didn’t think there was a way out of my pain, fat or thin.  I spent so much of my life wondering if I would ever stop dieting, binging, or being addicted to food. I wondered if I could ever accept myself and feel that I deserved to be loved. One day, a miracle happened. I heard a voice that said to me, “If you put all the energy into liking yourself that you put into hating yourself, then you can be free of this pain.” That was a huge turning point for me because even though I did not know what it really meant, I knew on some level that my self-pity & self-hatred “story” was about to start melting away.

I instantly became determined to get well and was willing to do whatever work it took to get to a healthy place. It was clear to me at that moment that the work I was going to do had a larger purpose in the world.  The message I received wasn’t just for me.  I was granted that day of clarity because my success would lead other women to their freedom as well. Freedom from their self-hatred story. Exactly what it would look like or how I would do it did not matter at the time. I just knew that getting well felt like a duty and assignment, something that I was called to do, and I was up for it. What mattered in that moment was my getting well.

We humans are meant to grow, evolve, transform, and become our best selves – together. We are not meant to do this alone.  We need to hold and support one another through the darkness into the light.

Something I knew instantly when I began my healing work was that I could not achieve success without the power of women and community. I needed to connect and be supported.

We are all hungry for love and community.  We need each other for support and long for connection and sisterhood.

I know I long for that. A longing in the best way possible.

I invite YOU to come and join me at OnePinky. I invite you to begin your healing work to battle self-hatred while being supported and loved through the process.  OnePinky is a place where women experience freedom from a critical mind. Freedom in your relationship with food. Freedom in your relationship with the scale.

Your soul is calling for something and I know that food will not heal that longing. However, connection and love will.

What would stop you from taking action today on your souls calling?

I welcome hearing from you.

We all know that our greatest challenges are our greatest gifts and here is a little story to share about why obstacles are disguised opportunities.

Another Important Lesson

Obstacles help us to improve ourselves.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.

Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.

After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The peasant learned what many of us never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

—Author Unknown

Speaking of overcoming obstacles, I asked OnePinky member Corrine what she is getting from being in Body Image Mastery. I loved what she had to share. Leah, please note the impact you have on women all over the world. Thank you for that.

Here are a few things that came to Corrine’s mind that she agreed to let me share.

1. Meeting Leah – my relationship with her has been an unexpected joy in my life – i look forward to our daily emails -the inspiration and comfort they bring.
2. My 30 Day Challenge – given me the drive to make working out a part of my life – YA!
3. Recognizing the importantance of being present and “releasing that which no longer serves me”

xoxo,
c

Thank you to all you Pinky’s who are on to my XO’s.

The world needs more love….As far as I am concerned the more love that goes out in the world, the more love the world can receive.There is no such thing as too much LOVE.

SO LOVE and HUGS to you all, now and always.

XO, Laura

No matter what people are up to in their lives, I hope they are happy and having fun!

Fun and Joy are our birth right.

I was meditating this morning and this feeling came over me.

I felt sad and at a loss for all the women who have been in my community and have left and for those who are in it and choose not to participate.

As the sadness washed over me this feeling of warmth and love came through.

It was there then and is right here this moment. It feels huge. The love feels really huge. I feel so grateful to have been honored to do this work.

We are connected, all of us that are choosing to be awake.

We are awake and connected and our hearts are all beating this moment. So the memory of all of you Pinky’s is as present in this moment as the feeling I had when we were connected in form.

A long time ago when I was really sad about ending therapy. It was time and yet I still felt unready to let go. My wise therapist said,  as long as you have a mind and body, you will have memory.

Our minds and our bodies remember.

That was a moment in time that will stay with me forever.

Sounds so simple and yet the impact was huge.

I will not forget that. Especially in current day moments, visualizing, thinking, wondering about all  of the amazing, dynamic, powerful women I have met through the years in this work. WOW.

How lucky am I?

So wherever you Pinky’s are, know you are loved a lot.

And for those of you who are still actively playing in the community, I hope to see your smiling faces soon.

Your job is to take care of you, however that looks for you and if reading something inspirational at onepinky.com/c can support your self-love and self-care today, then come on down.

Much Love, XO

Laura

P.S. Leah, the book Corrinne recommended sounds great. So glad you took the time to walk away… from your computer and just be. Those days/times are necessary for all of us. You are an inspiration.

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

-Gail Devers

I so BELIEVE in you Leah!

I am so happy to see that you loved the movie….and that Julia’s delightful relationship mirrored you and Leigh.

A little Julia Child inside information which she made public was that she was a virgin until the age of 40 and married her hubby and they spent the rest of their lives making up for all the years she had been without. (if you catch my drift!). I am so happy that they were in love and the same goes for you and Leigh (tell him hello from me) my dear.

Living in the moment for me is listening to guidance as it comes in…

I was guided to share this article I wrote last year…and hope you get some value from it, even if you have read it.

As many of you know, Oprah Winfrey recently “came clean” about her forty-pound weight gain and admitted that she was embarrassed to be over two hundred pounds again.  I have so many feelings about this, but the strongest of all is camaraderie.

Our nation has now hit a point where MOST of us are overweight.  Isn’t that an overwhelming thought?  And even those of us who DO lose weight, like Oprah, will often “reclaim” those pounds and put them back on.  So the chances are far greater that Oprah is touching a lot of hearts right now – rather than letting us down.

I would like to say that I am one of the lucky ones – losing a hundred pounds twenty two years ago and still being a hundred pounds less two decades later.  But it isn’t luck – and don’t think I never reclaimed a pound or two.  Surely I have.  But what I have been blessed to know – and what Oprah Winfrey is just discovering and proclaiming – is that PERMANENT change MUST be based and grown in self-care and self-love.  There is NOTHING else that will offer you the inspiration, the tools, and the COURAGE to continue a different way of life.

Because that’s the other thing that I (and probably all of us) share with Oprah – a lot of people count on us.  We have what seems like an endless list of family, friends, colleagues, and sometimes even strangers who look to us for an endless list of things.  Add in the mundane reality of a job, a household, and laundry – well, it is not surprising that self-care is a SKILL that has to be taught and learned.  (Teaching those skills is, in fact, my life’s work.) Quite simply, weight loss means that you must put yourself FIRST on your list, and that isn’t instinctive to most of us.  But by doing that you will be empowered to do everything else, and serve everyone else, in your world.

I have some areas where I disagree with Oprah, though; for one thing, her embarrassment.  Don’t get me wrong, I understand what she means.  As a body image mentor, I hold the space for many, many clients who have shame around their weight – but I simply wish FOR Oprah that she could begin her journey of self-care and self-love RIGHT NOW – and that means loving herself 100% (no reservations) and owning that she is perfect right now, as she is.  Needing to release the weight again actually makes her MORE accessible to the MILLIONS of men and women who face that same challenge over and over in life.  Like I said, I often feel l was one of the lucky ones.

But you know what I know?  I know that it wasn’t luck.  I lost the weight, only to realize that I still hated my life.  Can you IMAGINE how awful that was?  I had been an overweight kid – then an overweight teen – then an overweight adult.  I ALWAYS believed that when I lost the weight, my life would change.  Newsflash!  I lost the weight and then I had to CHANGE my life. So I did.  That’s where the blessing was – I recognized it and started building a pathway to self-love and self-care – and I never stopped.

I truly believe that if this dialogue about self-care and what it really MEANS in our day-to-day lives becomes one-tenth as pervasive as the dialogue around shame and self-loathing around weight and dieting and body image – that one-tenth discussion will change the trajectory of obesity and low body image in our nation.

We have an opportunity here to create a different kind of conversation.  Will you help me?  Will you sit down with your overweight friends and tell them, “I love you and think you are perfect exactly as you are.”  And then just LISTEN to their responses about their body and their weight. You will be amazed.  I am grateful and humbled to be part of this discussion.  THAT is the part that I feel lucky about.

I believe in you gorgeous, beautiful, amazing Leah….You are amazing and I have complete belief in you and your process.  Learn, Love and Let Go…

XO,

Love you, Laura

A plug… to pass on….Would you like to feel the same way I do? Take my hand, come with me and learn to love what you see in the mirror every day. Sign up for my Body Image Mastery course and be one of the first people to join my new community here: http://www.bodyimagemastery.com/community.