And I have a simple solution that costs very little and works.  

However, not everyone that is reading this is a candidate for my solution.  

My solution requires dealing with the issues that most people eat over or want to avoid.  

My solution requires you to get over your impatience which takes you away from what you truly want.  

My solution requires you to go inside and deal with the “issues in your tissues” so that you no  longer feel trapped, alone and defective around your body and your weight.  

Yesterday I was talking to someone who told me that my 12 week course sounded great however, she couldn’t afford it, and she would rather continue at age 46 keeping busy and avoid taking care of herself until it was absolutely necessary. It made me very sad that she chose avoidance as a way of being around her body and her life.

My experience is that we are so wired for instant results, that anything that takes time and effort is to be avoided at all costs. And yet that is truly where transformation happens. And what I know for sure is that slow and steady wins the race & fast & easy usually burns out pretty quickly leaving you feeling unhappy and discouraged.  

I have so many students to be proud of. I chose not to birth children this lifetime, however, my students  fulfill what I can only imagine it feels like to be a Mom. They fill me up and make me proud. Women who have looked  fear in the eye and chose differently. Women who did not see  way out and yet stayed in the process until they began  to see signs of hope and light. One student of mine has been so brave to share her truth with you all. She came to me  with all kinds of stories about how this could/would not work for her. And yet her wise self knew there was another way, hence her showing up and asking for help.

Here is an excerpt from her story:

“When I met Laura, I was a mess. I wanted a lot of things…mostly to be thin because that would be the answer to all of my problems. I was living in a world of, “When I lose
weight I’ll…” and that just wasn’t working for me. I was a  compulsive overeater. I would eat regardless of the emotion. I would eat to punish others. Sounds crazy I know.  
I hated it. I hated me. I hated myself for getting fat. I hated myself for staying fat. I hated myself for not being able to control the urges.

I knew what to do and what not to do. One of my clients is a nutritionist. I had all the knowledge  right there. But I just couldn’t put it into place. I’d blame it on my sugar addiction. “They say it’s like having a cocaine addiction,” I’d tell others. “I can’t control it.” I tried every fad, every diet. I starved, I did shots, I did  it all. I kept searching for the magic pill.

I had been asking the Universe for help. Did I need therapy? Did I need Overeaters Anonymous? What in the world was it going to take for me to stop reaching for food? The Universe responded and sent me Laura. I entered the Body Image Mastery program  with the same mindset I did everything else. It’s the magic pill. This is what’s going to do it! But I didn’t want to do  the work.

About halfway through, I talked with Laura. She convinced me to just do the work, one step at a time. And  something happened. I started discovering hidden secrets that have been part of this thing called self-sabotage. Shifts started to happen. The more I did the steps in her program, the more things started changing for the better.  

The program ended, but my personal work hasn’t. I’m still working the Body Image Mastery Program every day. But now  I’ve moved on to personal coaching with Laura. She’s been a tremendous asset on my quest for self. When I’m harsh, she  reminds me to be kind. When I’m frustrated she’s my voice of calmness. I’ve had to say goodbye to old habits, old  comforts that were no longer serving me. I’ve had to change my mindset in a lot of areas. I’ve had to develop patience.

Laura has helped me to realize that no matter what I do, the weight is not going to come off over night. I used to say,  “When I lose weight I’ll go [biking, hiking, kayaking],” or
“I’ll be able to dress cute and make myself look nice.”

With Laura’s encouragement and support, I’ve begun doing these things anyway. I’ve noticed that when I go shopping  for clothes, I’m choosing colorful clothing instead of
black. I’ve stopped hiding. Laura has helped me to love  myself and be patient with myself. I still have a long way to go, but for once, I’m looking forward to the journey.  

It’s an adventure…and I did a lot of research when looking for someone to hold my hand on this journey and no one I see out there does it quite like Laura.”

Do you understand why I feel so proud? She did the work. I was a vessel. She stayed even when she felt hopeless.  And her end results are amazing. She is so light in spirit
and body now. If you are reading this and are looking for  answers about how not to avoid your body, your health, your weight, then the time is now, the place is here.  

My 12 week Body Image Mastery class begins on March 27th, 2012 at 5pm PT 8pm ET.  

The class meets the following Tuesdays on the phone.

March 27th
April 3, 10, 17, 24
May 1, 8, 15, 22, 29
June 5, 12

You are worth the time you devote to this course work and class time. I hope that you feel called to play with us. Take an adventure of your lifetime.

www.OnePinky.com/bodyimagemastery

I welcome meeting you.

P.S. We offer a payment plan. Please email me for the link
to that.   

This New York Times op-ed by Nicholas Kristof, “Addicted to Exercise?” explores research done on the pleasure centers of the brain and reinforces some of the solutions I teach at OnePinky.com, healthy weight through healthy body image. Kristof shares research showing that both our vices (like food addictions/alcoholism) and virtues (like giving/sharing and exercise) stimulate the same ‘high’ in the brain’s pleasure centers. So, a timely question:

Can we choose vice or virtue for the ‘highs’ we crave? Answer: Yes, you can and OnePinky helps women everyday do that.

This article comes on the heels of my last blog about the death of Amy Winehouse. Amy’s tragic death tells us the fatal implications of addictive behavior and low self-esteem. Her autopsy confirms that her addictions led to her demise and it’s clear that she suffered from incredibly low self esteem.

My question on vice of virtue arises because this article proves both virtue and exercise can excite you with a ‘high’ as strong as hedonistic behavior (food/drug/alcohol addiction). In other words, exercise and giving to others/sharing/connecting can ‘pump-up’ the brain’s pleasure juices as much as any destructive addictions give you.

The studies describes rats fed foods like cheesecake and chocolate and showed differences in brain circuitry after just 40 days. These foods triggered cravings that rewire the rat’s brain’s pleasure circuits to amplify that craving: Actually rewiring the brain to increase cravings. The impact was that the pleasure centers of their brains were numbed, so they needed to gobble even more cheesecake to generate the same satisfaction. Whether its sugar or heroin, the body steadily ratchets up the quantity necessary to provide the same high.

Just think of it as, ‘I can’t get no satisfaction’. Or the vicious cycle my work helps you get out of:  Poor body image –> low self esteem –> mistreatment of food . . . and it starts all over again.

But, the good news is that research indicates that our brains move us toward vices, but also toward our virtues. In recent years, researchers have found that generosity isn’t always a sacrifice; instead, it often exhilarates us.

In one set of experiments at the University of Oregon young women hooked up to brain scanners were presented with modest amounts of money. Sometimes they were given the chance to donate to charity, and sometimes they were given additional money.

Their pleasure centers lit up when they received money, as one might expect — but even more when they gave money away.  About half of the women seemed to derive as much pleasure from giving money as from receiving it.

Perhaps all this research will lead to new tools to fight drug addiction, alcoholism and help the obesity struggle. For me, the most wonderful insight is that it does appear that giving is as important as receiving.  And that you can get just as  ‘high’ from exercising and connecting with other as you would from addictions to food, drugs and alcohol.

On the basis of this latest brain research, as well as practical experience, let’s acknowledge this profound truth: altruism and generosity can be pleasurable. These practices can lead you to a better body image and mitigate destructive addictive behaviors.

What do you think of this study? I welcome your feedback.

The news of Amy Winehouse’s death in July of this year was tragic, but it wasn’t surprising. Her struggle with addiction and eating disorders had been well-documented during her meteoric rise to fame. The autopsy results last week confirmed the suspicions that her addictions indeed led to her ultimate demise. I found this so sad and predictably true. It was also clear in interviews with her and her loved ones, that she suffered from incredibly low self esteem. In spite of her amazing success, she still did not feel worthy of love from herself or anyone else. Even for those of us not subject to her particular behavior, her story has a lot to tell us about addiction and self esteem.

An article from the British newspaper gets directly to the issue in an article entitled “Addiction Killed Amy Winehouse – what sort doesn’t matter.” The author, Deborah Orr, writes, “. . . addictive substance abuse is addictive substance abuse, whether it’s legal or illegal . . .”. That’s what makes food addictions so difficult. Unlike drugs or alcohol, which can be cut out of our lives all together, we need to eat in order to live. It’s certainly not easy to cut out drugs and alcohol; I know that firsthand, having struggled with alcoholism in addition to eating disorders. But when the source of your addiction is something you still need to consume in some form, it can feel more difficult.

The irony of this is that food is not the enemy and should not be reduced to something we loathe and make wrong. We actually need it to live and it was not created to be overused and abused. And knowing that does not fix being addicted to it. It is however a point I needed to make.

However, food addiction can manifest itself in many ways, from anorexia to bulimia to compulsive overeating. And more often than not, these addictions are a direct result of low self esteem and negative body image. We decide we don’t like what we see in the mirror, which for some leads to self-starving and for others results in self-punishing binge eating. Either way, the effects are clear:

poor body image –> low self esteem –> mistreatment of food . . . and it starts all over again.

So how do we break out of the cycle? It is challenging and yet totally possible– addiction is both psychological and chemical, and the longer we’ve engaged in this pattern the harder it is to break. Unlike drugs or alcohol, which have very obvious effects, the effects of food addiction – obesity, lack of energy, depression – are so common in today’s society that we may not even realize we have them too. So often we may only see the results and not realize the source. It can be hard to accept that we are addicted – to sugar, to carbs, to denial. Yet the sooner we can come to terms with our own addictions, the sooner we can get help, and the sooner we can get better.

It is possible to break out – my own story and the stories of so many of my students who have rebuilt their body image, improved their self esteem, and repaired their relationship with food. Kicking addiction alone, however, is nearly impossible. It’s a hard enough thing to do, and when you start out, it can be challenging to hold yourself accountable and take the necessary steps. That’s where friends, family and loved ones come in. The more support, love and encouragement you have, the easier and more successful you’ll be.

You do not need to fall victim to addiction – put yourself out there, ask for help, and you shall receive it. It is possible to break out of the cycle of negativity – to start, just reach out your hand. I promise you someone will be there to love you back.

Hope this is counter inspirational to you Leah and to our new blogger Gina and to everyone else reading this.

Independence Day

We are 5 months away from the 4th of July here in America.

However, for me, every day is the Fourth of July.

And while it is true that I love the summer, I really love the fourth of July for what is stands for.

It is ALL about my personal INDEPENDENCE.

Every single day that I no longer suffer from compulsive eating, body hatred, scale hatred, being afraid to eat and low self esteem, I get to declare my freedom from anything that doesn’t represent self-love and personal sustainability.

To begin with, I declare myself free from the hundred pounds I released 22 years ago.

I am fit and fabulous because I claim my self-loving right to exist in a body that I love and that loves me back.

Make no mistake, supporting that healthy body is all about supporting my mind. It means saying no to people who deplete my energy and wear down my spirit – and that means having to face the disapproval (or even rejection) of others when I don’t do what they want or need.

We sometimes must make tough choices in order to say “yes” to ourselves and prioritize the strong bodies and healthy lifestyles we truly want.

It means that we cannot do everything that everyone wants every minute of the day. Rather, we will have to literally carve out a piece of our lives that belongs to no one

but us. And if we have lived a life of self-deprecatory blindness to our own needs or dreams, it means that something will have to GO to make room for something new.

Here are some tools to making all of your days Independence Days:

1. Start by making a list of everyone you see in a month – everyone. Ask yourself if they inspire and invigorate you or if they deplete your energy.

Now place a plus or minus next to their name (this has nothing to do with your love for them). Every day, spend more time and energy within those relationships that energize you.

2. Start your day early, before everyone else awakens. Like all shifts, there will be a trade. It may mean ending your day without the 11pm news (a negative way to end a day anyway).

3. Start your great day with inspiring reading (visit www.LauraFenamore.com/affirmations for a quick, positive message every day), and give yourself 30 minutes of some sort of  movement.

4. Plan your day and plan your food! Don’t get caught off guard and find yourself starving at 4pm after a day of running around for others. That is, quite literally, a recipe for disaster.

Remember what Thomas Jefferson said:

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.”

That is what we MUST embrace every day if we are to be strong and vibrant and self-loving. We literally have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

First LIFE. Claim your LIFE – literally. Make a list of what would support you to live one more healthy, beautiful day above ground.

Then LIBERTY. What would it mean to let go of your biggest burden, just for today? Can you get help with that burden and give yourself a break?

And finally, the pursuit of HAPPINESS. What would life need to look like to be truly happy right now?

And if you can’t get to that picture right this moment, and you need to make a plan to get there, can you CHOOSE to be happy for one thing right now, as you begin the PURSUIT of that life?